Fri, 8 Mar 2013

3:39 AM - March Breakthru On my way back up again...

  well it got bad as you all know… and havent been doing well at all lately, so I now have found help, and by trading my pathfinder for labor I now hope to be able to get the leaks fixed, and some things fixed again, and see what happens.

clearing out some stuff agin, slowly and depends how i'm feeling, and today I got rid of 2 printers and and misc stuff, little by.

 

so glad Springs bout here cause i NEED get out in yard n garden! I NEED that healing from the son and nature, already have stuff started indoors to go out, and now I have my assistant and a guy working all misc jobs, so far so good and its been over week, he comes now n then cpl 2-4 hrs and cuts scrap wood, moves stuff for me, just misc needs and hes smart like me "Jack of all trades and he knows Puters n selling.. so may work out a deal together on stuff i can't sell on etsy.. say he could list and sell and id split… sounds fair to me…

 

then long as i have sales, i'm trying to get stuff done so not so much stress. 

Taxes still over my head, i got so stress this last time i'm now 80#s.. sucks.. but i'd bout given up and LOOK now.. had to hit bottom and also timing seems good for a NEW start and maybe this is a GIFT i'd been waiting for! I have paid it foward many times over thru life to point i felt cursed, maybe this will be my glory!

Day by Day ok.. wish i had a granny to cook for me lol, 

 

feeling pretty good all way round since yesterday, and think so much different now, + Can get stuff outta here now and he can sell misc now and then as turns up for labor, and working off truck so maybe … time will tell, as none ever worked out so far, but i am on borrowed time here and just perhaps i'm gonna have a good spree for a bit before the end..sell my vintage and dolls and collectables on etsy, rest can be used to barter, sell or ?

so who knows.

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I AM gonna give it all i got (aint much) but its a start again. Yes I do believe it maybe my gift from the LORD .. since i finally let it all go.

HE can know bless us all.

I sure have a change of attitude also and feels good to also be able to pay back and also bless others big time this last time around. 

 

cont' later

()

Wed, 9 Jan 2013

9:30 PM - Go figure...

  got papers today, now the gal (family) who betray'd me so, filed to get unemployment, stating work required to heavy lifting, as she's pregnant.

shaking head, after they worked only 3-4 per week and got paid for 11! 

awful. confronted them, needed more help, wanted to share hrs with lady who would work, but NO they got pissed n threw me keys snatched the pup she'd given me months n months prior!

()

Fri, 14 Dec 2012

3:46 AM - "so it was about the money turns out

  "so turns out, it WAS all about the money..."

they set me up to believe i was "family"...

called me grandma and everything, made me feel good at first as i've never had kids, little on grandkids, and have to admit this was nice in the beginning.

told me many times, it wasn't bout the money, they were here to help with anything i needed, so i set them up to be my care providers, 1st was not much, only 20 hrs a month, but later on and after physical, they up'd it to 44..

now problems started when they were only working like 3 -4 hrs max per week, i was in need, and waited many many time till it was convenient on them... big mistake, trying to help hurt me big time

wasnt long till i felt like greed set in, as id been giving them a LOT of household stuff, and jewelry and things very personable to ME, that i must get rid of or will get dumped.

trying hard to get all my affairs in order before i pass, as not to leave all this mess for someone strange to sort thru n whatever, being i'll past few years i've had no one so this meant a lot and i thought id really found some family to care!

they even gave me a small pooodle pup so my jazzie wouldn't be so lonesome and i had some more love around and more to even get up for...

well shoulda had a clue when in large groups they all spoke spanish and hardly ever would translate, so i kinda just stayed at home n let a few at a time come visit, was nice we played puter games and played dominoes and all sorts nice things, i felt a lot better than i had in years... even talked about their family members buying my home, and all kinds stuff.. shaken head

then the hrs and needs started gettin to me, they were getting paid for 44 hrs and only working like 12-16 of them! all month! well i needed help, so ask lady i know if she would be available part time, thinking they could split/share hrs, as they wasn't earning and i was needing... well thinking it "wasn't bout the money" duh.. i talked to them many many time in over a month, so told them what i planned, well chit hit roof there... NO WAY i was told.. all or nothing, and then they wanted the pup and tried to grab it outta my arms (5 months they never came to play/feed/buy food/nothing) now that night ok, next night no, they came with keys, thrown at me says over, n tried to snatch pup, tug of war, sherrifs called, they lied says it was theirs, so i was made to had that baby over! BROKE my heart! so vindictive! after ALL ive given and shared, and they knew my pain first hand and to do this to me! SHOCKED, still depressed, hard to even function, then Jazzie hard time eating also, missing her playmate, and me missing what i loved so much, alls in my life is Jazzie n me, and it was a blessing as well as a joy to have new life for us here.

all diestroyed over MONEY! GREED!

shaking head... i'm sooo dumb, i want SO to find someone who can deal n handle n help and looking like i'm goin out all alone and no one knowing anything bout zip... boy thats not a great thought after the life ive had...

its been a month + now and i'm still just devastated, function very little and care less, do best i can to deal with daily stuff as comes up... talk bout a raw deal, and grave mistrust! after knowing part of all ive been thru and to do this to me!

i'm done, ready to go HOME PLEASE Lord!

Not a lot left to live for except get rid more stuff..slow process

()

Wed, 21 Nov 2012

4:19 AM - set myself up royal to get screwed

 

November 20, 2012
    1.    Leo (7/23-8/22) 

Start flexing your muscles, today, and using your power. It's only when you start using it that you start to understand how much power you have. If you are a little bit more demanding, you will start to understand that you can be in control without being too bossy. It's good to challenge people to meet your high standards -- they appreciate the fact that you believe they are capable of great things! You have to be willing to be disliked if you truly want to inspire other people.
11/20/12 10:51 PM you have no idea of nice things, i gave them lamps, furniture, trash compacter, exercise equipment, jewelry for all! sports equipment even collectables, art work that was my personal treasures, crafts, special things princess house crystal… on n on


()

Sat, 17 Nov 2012

2:55 AM - Elder abuse or ?

 Elder abuse??? or?

Don't know what to do?
 
well as of March this year, family across street was approved to do Home care for me thru IHSS. problem is the daughter was one on record. i was awarded 20 hrs a month at that time. worked fine 1st few months, as convent and close. 
 
I'm terminal w/HepC n a shut-in past 3 yrs so dire NEED care, well did physical and IHSS gave 44 hrs a month which I felt was great. The family would take me shopping for food IF i was able or they brought me stuff I needed.
problem is wasn't putting in but 3-4 hrs and kept saying they would, they just busy.
 
meanwhile august, the daughter brought a brand new puppy to play w/my dog as poor thing gets lonely when I'm i'll in bed. Was to be a playmate while she worked a job at taco stand in town. Now her dad n mom did all the work when they did work. and the gal never took the dog home one night, so i ask for food n whatever, well she brought huge bones, NOT food. and only one time she even took the pup for awhile.
so few months back, I say, "well guess the pup is mine, as you've never feed, played, provided for so now its mine". she said " Ok but when the breaders/friends come over they wanna visit it" I agreed.
meantime they all have problems, she 's pregant, quits work in town and dad had heart attack (stress) then son (brother 19) so far be it from me to demand much less absoluty necessity.
 
Things calmed some this last month so cpl times I tried to talk to them, saying they will start doin my work, and care more for me, and every times never happened, I even gave them a blank calendar so they track their hrs, not for my benifit as i know, but thought they would see they were only workin 3-4 hrs per week vs the 11 gettin paid for.
 
now im a total shut-in and a lot of time i'll in bed and they never once cleaned my toilet, or washed my dishes, yes a few times vacumed, cleaned out fridge and lots good stuff, BUT now dad gets mad when I told him i need to share those hrs with another person so i have help when i need it, and it will help them, as I never saw them weekends past 3 months or so.  he right out refuses! Its ALL or nothing!!! well i was shocked, didn't know what to say. well they never came over so I called the other lady to come as i needed stuff. well Dad saw the lady here and got hot, later came over threw me keys said its over, and daughter went to snatch the pup outta my arms, after 5 months with me!, Sheriff gets called, 2 1/2 hrs later office came in 10:30pm and talked, then went across street n talked, now cause dads mad he LIED to the officer and said it was daughters dog. HURT OMG im so broken now from past devistation, its last lap and I dont need this stress.
 
make it really worse, since March,  i've been giving then TONS of things, as i must get rid of all possible, I just ask to save my jewels n treasures and most precious things to me. I have no one for many years now, no family no kids, no loved ones, and being isolated I shut out the world when most couldn't deal with the death factor.
furniture, bedding, lamps, crystal, jewelry, crafts, kitchen appliances and TONS n tons stuff… and they just flat out took advantage of me
 
n LIED bout the pup i loved so dearly past 5 months 24/7 knowing that it will possibly devastate me!
I simply in so much grief, n shock i don't know what to do
 
im ssi low income and i paid/cared/boarded that baby/pup and I get this crap????
been trying to list some my old memories since childhood, on etsy and sold a few when i feel i can be active, then also they took stuff to mail, now i'll again, stressed to max and past week no help or anything so closed down site  "vacation" mode till figure out next step?
 
 
also mom couldn't go on record as care taker as she not legal for another 2 yrs when daughter turns 21? beats me i havent a clue. They were like a family at first, even made me a 66th H/B eve with cake n baloons! Touched my heart. then to turn into vultures? or whatever … Victimised once again, can't handle or take any more.
life sucks and my only hope is that the Good Lord WILL take me home soon.
 
on my good days i use my brain productively as much as possible. Helps the stress level and my health as some my personal stuff has found good homes to be passed on. All the rest i care less about now and why giving to them to use or sell or whatever.. sad.
That pup was so needed n loved, gave my baby something to play with and also makes me get up and care for something, and get tons of love from something depending on me. I'm a basket case… im in SHOCK

(1 comment | )

Fri, 23 Mar 2012

3:15 AM - Today was a good day

  am Erica (oldest) took me to mail my pkgs and get cigs...

later Family visit...

 then i make a fire and flue is blocked as always when rains... wets the ash n clogs the screen. smoke inside like crazy. so i call him n 3 boys come over grab ladder go up on roof brush screen and works fine, had to air out house stunk bad as always...

later eve him n her bring me fruit..

how neat and watched news with me...

 

so nice. i like this.

()

Thu, 15 Mar 2012

12:53 AM - GOOD NEWS (let's HOPE)

 In such terrible need, just trying to survive the daily struggles is bad 'nuff but then the help I had couldn't make it all time, has their own health problems so was so down spent the whole last 2 days in bed.

hurt my back bad gettin up wood and depression din't help.
 
well I met the new family moved across the street this eve as I went out to get mail. He brought out the whole family, wife, 4 teens, uncle and another.. and we chated a bit and they offerin to help me out! WOW PRAY this works as i'm at end of my rope and harder and harder to even get outta bed ams seems. 
 
hell being all alone and so needy now. everythings broke, worn out same as me. been in my home 30 yrs and with all the gov cuts past 3 years ruined me. i see no way out, and to have lost all dental, eyecare, and most meds  n coverage due to calif being broke hasn't made life any better.
 
well I got outta my sick bed to try to sell some jewels n treasures so I can get a ne/rebuilt iMac and a tv and maybe an iPad as soon i'll be bedridden and to ill to set here.
 
so i have sstuff to mail and no way to go, not even to shop or whatever i need. it's anykind of life i'm here to tell you.
 
So PRAY these ppls work out, will right across street and plenty ppls there incase of needs perhaps.
 
am i hoping for to much?
the state will get the house and all treasures i've had most all my life will be tossed or junked, how awful
 
here's a fraction of a whole house full i need to sell.
http://etsy.me/yI42YF
stop by check it all out! reduced prices also.
 
so we shall see what tomorrow holds. I'm soooo ready to go HOME!

()

Sat, 10 Mar 2012

5:18 PM - (no subject)

 SNAKE inside! THANK GOD for "GRAB-IT"
jazzie was barking and screen was open for her to go out BUT she wasn't, she just barked.... so i look and a small snake under saw by window and i got the grab-it and chased it out but then tryin to get jaz in was awful and i was scared but i got her shut screen and damn snake was headed back to house so i used the grab-it and picked it up and tossed over the fence! My hearts goin 100 mph!!! LOL tis the desert

()

Thu, 8 Mar 2012

12:19 AM - hell on earth

 well i need to write

just when i thought it couldnt get any worse... it DID...

i tried to start the etsy business and nothing but problems, and along with living with a leaking roof, a toilet that don't flush, ice maker broke for years, truck down n stranded for past 1 yr 7+ months, WAY behind on my house payments, setting on a houseful of treasures and nobody around to even car, SUCKS...

and i'm ill to boot and then nobody around now to help... i drove em all off as I was too needy.

problems w/help they try just have their own problems... I don't know what to do no more... dont wanna get outta bed...

and eating... well geeze meerly "exist" as I dont get to shop...

shakin head.

dont know what to do ad now i'm outta wood! and its till winter here in desert and cigs... grrr + other stuff. TAKE me HOME LORD PLEASE!

I do NOT fit...can't deal with all this all my life has been cruel

 

I think "hell" is right here with us daily

 

now its a mess and its 

()

Tue, 6 Mar 2012

7:55 PM - AWFUL etsy buyer

 AWFUL #etsy buyer look at negs she leaves and she scams sellers

always ask for deals on several items 
then WATCH OUT
 
brandnameforless says:
I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS SELLER. AVOID DOING BUSINESS WITH THIS SELLER. The pendant and necklace I received is not as described. The chain is 14k as stated. the pendant is not marked and when tested, it did not test as gold but rather, just plated. I want to return them as they are not as described. But the seller would not accept my return. She said all sales are final. She wants e to hold on to an item that she misinterpreted and did not honestly describe. I had to go through Paypal and dispute this transaction to get my money back.
Feb 15, 2012
 
brandnameforless says:
I DO NOT RECOMMEND buying from this seller. You have to go through Paypal dispute to get your money back for an item he sold that is not as descibed.
Feb 13, 2012
 
brandnameforless says:
These earrings are not real solid 14k gold. they are plated. when i asked the seller for a return for a full refund, seller would not agree. I DO NOT RECOMMEND buying from this seller.
Feb 13, 2012
 
brandnameforless says:
Do not buy from this seller. Seller, according to Paypal, is Non-US and unverified. I did not receive this necklace from the seller.
Jan 19, 2012
 
brandnameforless says:
I specifically asked the seller what markings are on the ring to make sure it is solid gold. seller said it is marked 18K. But actually the ring is marked 18K HGE which means it is electroplated and is not solid gold. The seller deliberately mislead me by omitting the letters HGE from ring markings when those letters are clearly there. The seller lied about the ring markings so as to present the ring as something that it is not.
Jan 18, 2012
 
brandnameforless says:
Worst seller ever. Would not accept a return. She claimed this is an authentic Tiffany & Co 18k pendant and chain, What I received are unmarked pieces with the chain marked 14k with no maker's mark. When I asked for a return, seller would only agree if I leave positive feedback. No way.
Jan 6, 2012
 
NOTE
etsy tool site i saw sellers stated items ARE gold and shes scammed them
see: http://tools4etsy.com/Feedback/As-Buyer/brandnameforless?page=2
 

()

Thu, 1 Mar 2012

8:46 PM - (no subject)

 she wasnt happy so got full refund BUT only return part of
items sent out. VINTAGE 


 


SELLERS BEWARE


brandnameforless on etsy 


pretty_good_stuff@yahoo.com


brand_name_forless@yahoo.com


ana rodriquez 


Lorton Va 22079


 


mood: Angry Angry

tags: ana buyer etsy rodriquez

()

8:46 PM - (no subject)

 she wasnt happy so got full refund BUT only return part of items sent out. VINTAGE 

 

BUYER BEWARE

brandnameforless on etsy 

pretty_good_stuff@yahoo.com

brand_name_forless@yahoo.com

ana rodriquez 

Lorton Va 22079

 

mood: Angry Angry

()

8:44 PM - BEWARE of this Etsy BUYER!!!

 she wasnt happy so got full refund BUT only return part of items sent out. VINTAGE 

BUYER BEWARE

brandnameforless on etsy 

pretty_good_stuff@yahoo.com

brand_name_forless@yahoo.com

ana rodriquez 

Lorton Va 22079



tags: ana rodriquez

()

Fri, 4 Nov 2011

5:05 PM - NEW Venture: ETSY

Just OPENING my shop, as i'm about to clear away 60+
yrs of treasures  n jewels...

Vintage, Antiques, &  collectables! like a living ESTATE
LIQUIDATION




One HUGE scavenger hunt! You never know what will turn up here, not
organized but will be soooooo worth the hunt!



tons of  VINTAGE, n COLLECTABLES & Antiques +++
solid GOLD jewelry & sterling SILVER, 50s-60s-70s Vintage
fashions... DOLLS, Barbies, Home decor, Kitchen collectables
,


COME BACK OFTEN;, you never know just what you
may find!


http://www.etsy.com/shop/dagutzyone


Please feel free to contact me IF interested on anything and
SUGGESTIONS always WELCOME....




()

5:03 PM - New VENTURE ...ETSY!!!

 Just OPENING my shop,  as i'm about to clear away 60+ yrs of treasures  n jewels...

Vintage, Antiques, &  collectables! like a living ESTATE LIQUIDATION

that will take me a LONG time so

 

COME BACK OFTEN</I>, you never know just what you may find!

 

See ya, soon

 

 

...........

 

One HUGE scavenger hunt! You never know what will turn up here, not organized but will be soooooo worth the hunt!

 

tons of  VINTAGE  COLLECTABLES & Antiques   +++ solid GOLD jewelry & sterling SILVER, 50s-60s-70s Vintage fashions... DOLLS, Barbies, Home decor, Kitchen collectables ,  wow TONS

 

a living ESTATE LIQUIDATION that will take me a LONG time so

 

<i>COME BACK OFTEN</I>, you never know just what you may find!

 

<i><B>See ya, soon</I</B>

 

JUST OPENING my store + I'm a CRAFTER also,

 

 

Please feel free to contact me IF interested on anything and SUGGESTIONS always WELCOME....

 

 

()

5:03 PM - (no subject)

 Just OPENING my shop,  as i'm about to clear away 60+ yrs of treasures  n jewels...

Vintage, Antiques, &  collectables! like a living ESTATE LIQUIDATION

that will take me a LONG time so

 

COME BACK OFTEN</I>, you never know just what you may find!

 

See ya, soon

 

 

...........

 

One HUGE scavenger hunt! You never know what will turn up here, not organized but will be soooooo worth the hunt!

 

tons of  VINTAGE  COLLECTABLES & Antiques   +++ solid GOLD jewelry & sterling SILVER, 50s-60s-70s Vintage fashions... DOLLS, Barbies, Home decor, Kitchen collectables ,  wow TONS

 

a living ESTATE LIQUIDATION that will take me a LONG time so

 

<i>COME BACK OFTEN</I>, you never know just what you may find!

 

<i><B>See ya, soon</I</B>

 

JUST OPENING my store + I'm a CRAFTER also,

 

 

Please feel free to contact me IF interested on anything and SUGGESTIONS always WELCOME....

 

 

()

Sat, 6 Aug 2011

5:11 AM - life's taken it's final tole?

 

 

tons of crap BEFORE all this

LONG history of plain ole "crap"

 

88 prior problems

 

89 mom dies

90 husband stealing n not paying sub contractors

     drugs n tried to killl me

     seperated,

     and litterly KICKED outta a church i loved and was a co-signer on the loan of the bldg!

 

91 divorced

     nasty n court 13 times in 1 yr!awarded 1400 a month NEVER saw a dime AND got stuck w/some his bills even yrs later had to pay several

     bills he used my SS n DL # on dif stuff!

     lawsuits were in process against MY HOME.. had to act QUICK!

 

     County calls, had a new born we'd waiting for 3 yrs on n went to parent training classes for yrs

 

92 quake

      lived in truck 3 mo, lived at friends 3 mo....New yrs day HOME had enough takin my home bk

'93+

lost my "alphie" dog 17ys old! got hurt during quake.. + other losses

killed me

 

.......

 

hud took over 3 yrs.. sold to bank in Fla... they foreclosed on me had to vacate

 

also was a victim of a violent crime, guy STALKED me from a yard sale i'd had

folled me home one night n beat almost to point of death and even said he was gonna kill me

12 HRs! lost 6 months my life there..

 

lost my 2 yard dogs 14 n 17  another painful time

 

meanwhile a local RE crook gets involved

(Art Pettersen) lost it as he bought pennys on dollar, moved all bk in never unpacked most...

then was paying him every month (so i thought he was paying loan... ) he decides he needs to move in as he can't afford 2 places... well i was a basket case from above n had extra bedroom so dint fight too much.. too most all my stuff to a rat infested storage area.. and moved part of his stuff not knowing he wasnt payin on loan and started STALKING me also... every where i went I had to get a restraining order (my 3) in say ?3-4 yrs? joe n the stalker prior..

even slashed my girlfriend 2 front tires and one on mine just outta jealousy ... shakin head

 

well went to auction

 

got a hard money loan from THATCHER (crook)3 yrs....

back in my home....

but had a heart attack moving all the crap so much from stress

 

3 yrs lady friend come around hadnt seen yrs.. took it over

another long soap opra n ending more STRESS

 

then my grandma dies in 98, she raised me I didnt even get to go home

end of my family line all gone, no more

 

trying again to make a life again n all stuff imprt to me was boxed n stored in the room here and I got ill n never got to unpack and was such choas n mixed up just to OVERWHELMING!

went to yard sales n thrifts stores bought stuff to just "get by one"

then had a flood, water damage, then roof leaks and ruining some my fav stuff i'd packed to have

 

one last relationship

another heartache! and cost me a lot

 

then the whatever that destroyed my dolls...

 

my "Savage" dog 140# shephard hung himself in the bk window!

bloody mess n I had to patch the wall that was clawed so bad the poor thing broke his ribs n that busted his lungs  1/2 in n 1/2 out a real mess!

did a real # on me

 

one thing after another and sick with the migraines and psorisas eating up my body and being told I had hep C and was bad to "Go home n make peace with my maker" which I have .. and ready to face whatever come. yes finally an "ESCAPE" ..

BUT

still problems

then lost my "Bailey " 14 yr had to bury him myself!  chose to let him die at home he didnt suffer and I loved em all

swore NO MORE

IM DONE

 

death all around and had to let my lovely yard all die as could afford n also could do like I did

loss of my business..

 

problems w/roommates..

house lack maintance lots problems and even wind damage

everything in house is wearing out all so old (even me)

no trash service

truck problems

the credit loss n all crap comes with it.. lost a 7.2 fice score not due to any of my fault! due to econemy.. sucks as there went my "newer" vehicle.. a tv n a lap top when i'm stuck in bed..

 

loss on house value (sad)

 

cpl yrs later... new dog "Jazzie" 4 mo old yorkie! from friends.. I NEEDED to care for something n have some love n something to need me.. if not i'd of been done gone!

had enough..

 

now Sept 1 yr ago my truck took a dump!! go figure! so been a shut-in n no choice not many around now

(more sorrow)

then getting sicker and hep attacks increase...

no one to help n gums infected made me really ill and no dentist cares cause I can't PAY

dr dont care

(3) THREE cuts on our ssi! lost over 120 bucks per mo!!!!

 have over 60+ ppls on my list who have died since i been here '80

friends n aquaintances

 

 

thats why my house is thrashed and thats why i quit.. no more..

 

 

i live as a recluse cause its safe.. no more crap from this world.. thats also why i'm glad i'm gonna be able to get the hell outta here soon as possible!...i hate it here..

one bad thing just thought id get ill n croke.. not have to arrange my end days care and all that stuff.. all right on n about my BIRTHDAY.. to

funny from beginning to end on B/D  (ironic)

 

 

lots more like the lump on my lungs i refuse to deal with .. what does it mater now..

 

I just dont wanna die in pain!

 

so now have to fig out when i get so ill i cant care for myself like happened this last mo when i now weigh 85 #s... not good...

then get told can't have stuff I feel I need

 

SURVIVAL is NOT a great lifestyle ok!

have to do whats necessary to just get thru next TRIAL/trauma

 

now I do keep busy, or i'd really go off the deep end..

 

I do PHOTOGRAPHY (my passion) and garden, craft, games on pogo (good for brain) and all i can when i'm feeling ok which lately hasn't been that often.. sucks

made me a peaceful santuary in my back yard so i'm out with nature much as possible and do my pictures and post n publish thats bout all I can handle..

 

now to deal with all this new stuff and what's  next? beats the hell outta me

 

 

so I called Hospice, called about senior stuff and now to see if I can get any help in any areas?

 

 

 

 

I so need my truck fixed, hate being stranded on my good days.. and having to find ppls to take me drs n shoping sucks

 

and towns full of FLAKES

()

Wed, 19 Jan 2011

3:41 AM - i'm NOT normal

  to broken inside to ever heal....

 
how many do you know that:
 
 
*grew up w/no family lovin them...
 
*ran away at 14 w/o goin to jail, gettin pregant, or drugged out...
 
*met a guy one night n married him the next... lookin for love
 
*could'nt  ever have children due to physical abuse
 
*goes to dads funeral only to be told not allowed in
 
*searched for family only to find alls gone
 
*bounced back not one, not 2 but 3 times after divorce, loosin all each time,  to only have the system dig the final grave
 
*lost house not once , not twice, but 3 times! and fought till became owner again n again n again ...
 
*has been stalked not once but twice and became victim of a violent crime, loosin 6 mo life +
 
*was given the death sentence,  waiting to die and got pissed, weaned off all meds n worked the next yr in construction...
 
*has so much talant n creativity and starvin...
 
*tells it flat out and nobody can handle or deal w/truths
 
*have achieved great things to be in such a rut now
 
*the brain dont stop and drives all crazy
 
*lives as tho they are dying, n nobody understands why they aren't function'n as normal..
loss after loss, takes a toll on one's soul
 
I did NOT choose this
 
I believe in God yes, I believe in RAPTURE yes! why?
cause whether real or not after this life i dont ever wanna mis out on peace n happiness, this has been my hell down here most all my life...
yes I've done n had n achieved great things but i'm broken into peaces and really I just wanna go HOME and have peace.. that is my ONLY escape
 
 
 
this will continue.....
 

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Tue, 18 Jan 2011

3:03 AM - Today was a GREAT day!

 Today was a GREAT day!

friend went picked up my meds, and then we went to Home Depot and I bought a snake for the drain and a gal of lqd to put down them, treated him to a burger and home and he got it unclogged!! GREAT! OMG!
we went had a beer (i won 10 bucks!) and home, as he had things to do but TYJ!!!
 
Now I did 3 loads laundry, had a hot soak ... Calgon took me away! and now i get to sleep in a CLEAN bed w/clean clothes n body! OMG almost feelin a little bk to human again, least i smell better.
 
So was a good day for a change!
OH and I had 1665 VIEWS on my flickr page by tweeting, all time high! n was gone part of gay! tonight 100,000 since 7//9 so 1 1/2 yrs..
i avg 200 day but since twitter 4-5x's ++ NOW! omg
get to leave my mark after all perhaps.
 
Time will tell
i'll hide n watch
stay tuned.......

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Sat, 1 Jan 2011

1:46 AM - WOW the ONE's this year!

  WOW the ONEs this year has:

1-1-11
1-11-11
11-1-11 
11-11-11 

¨* ⋆ .¸¸.•*¨* ★ HAPPY NEW YEAR ★ *¨*•.¸¸. ⋆ *¨

 

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