tons of crap BEFORE all this

LONG history of plain ole "crap"

 

88 prior problems

 

89 mom dies

90 husband stealing n not paying sub contractors

     drugs n tried to killl me

     seperated,

     and litterly KICKED outta a church i loved and was a co-signer on the loan of the bldg!

 

91 divorced

     nasty n court 13 times in 1 yr!awarded 1400 a month NEVER saw a dime AND got stuck w/some his bills even yrs later had to pay several

     bills he used my SS n DL # on dif stuff!

     lawsuits were in process against MY HOME.. had to act QUICK!

 

     County calls, had a new born we'd waiting for 3 yrs on n went to parent training classes for yrs

 

92 quake

      lived in truck 3 mo, lived at friends 3 mo....New yrs day HOME had enough takin my home bk

'93+

lost my "alphie" dog 17ys old! got hurt during quake.. + other losses

killed me

 

.......

 

hud took over 3 yrs.. sold to bank in Fla... they foreclosed on me had to vacate

 

also was a victim of a violent crime, guy STALKED me from a yard sale i'd had

folled me home one night n beat almost to point of death and even said he was gonna kill me

12 HRs! lost 6 months my life there..

 

lost my 2 yard dogs 14 n 17  another painful time

 

meanwhile a local RE crook gets involved

(Art Pettersen) lost it as he bought pennys on dollar, moved all bk in never unpacked most...

then was paying him every month (so i thought he was paying loan... ) he decides he needs to move in as he can't afford 2 places... well i was a basket case from above n had extra bedroom so dint fight too much.. too most all my stuff to a rat infested storage area.. and moved part of his stuff not knowing he wasnt payin on loan and started STALKING me also... every where i went I had to get a restraining order (my 3) in say ?3-4 yrs? joe n the stalker prior..

even slashed my girlfriend 2 front tires and one on mine just outta jealousy ... shakin head

 

well went to auction

 

got a hard money loan from THATCHER (crook)3 yrs....

back in my home....

but had a heart attack moving all the crap so much from stress

 

3 yrs lady friend come around hadnt seen yrs.. took it over

another long soap opra n ending more STRESS

 

then my grandma dies in 98, she raised me I didnt even get to go home

end of my family line all gone, no more

 

trying again to make a life again n all stuff imprt to me was boxed n stored in the room here and I got ill n never got to unpack and was such choas n mixed up just to OVERWHELMING!

went to yard sales n thrifts stores bought stuff to just "get by one"

then had a flood, water damage, then roof leaks and ruining some my fav stuff i'd packed to have

 

one last relationship

another heartache! and cost me a lot

 

then the whatever that destroyed my dolls...

 

my "Savage" dog 140# shephard hung himself in the bk window!

bloody mess n I had to patch the wall that was clawed so bad the poor thing broke his ribs n that busted his lungs  1/2 in n 1/2 out a real mess!

did a real # on me

 

one thing after another and sick with the migraines and psorisas eating up my body and being told I had hep C and was bad to "Go home n make peace with my maker" which I have .. and ready to face whatever come. yes finally an "ESCAPE" ..

BUT

still problems

then lost my "Bailey " 14 yr had to bury him myself!  chose to let him die at home he didnt suffer and I loved em all

swore NO MORE

IM DONE

 

death all around and had to let my lovely yard all die as could afford n also could do like I did

loss of my business..

 

problems w/roommates..

house lack maintance lots problems and even wind damage

everything in house is wearing out all so old (even me)

no trash service

truck problems

the credit loss n all crap comes with it.. lost a 7.2 fice score not due to any of my fault! due to econemy.. sucks as there went my "newer" vehicle.. a tv n a lap top when i'm stuck in bed..

 

loss on house value (sad)

 

cpl yrs later... new dog "Jazzie" 4 mo old yorkie! from friends.. I NEEDED to care for something n have some love n something to need me.. if not i'd of been done gone!

had enough..

 

now Sept 1 yr ago my truck took a dump!! go figure! so been a shut-in n no choice not many around now

(more sorrow)

then getting sicker and hep attacks increase...

no one to help n gums infected made me really ill and no dentist cares cause I can't PAY

dr dont care

(3) THREE cuts on our ssi! lost over 120 bucks per mo!!!!

 have over 60+ ppls on my list who have died since i been here '80

friends n aquaintances

 

 

thats why my house is thrashed and thats why i quit.. no more..

 

 

i live as a recluse cause its safe.. no more crap from this world.. thats also why i'm glad i'm gonna be able to get the hell outta here soon as possible!...i hate it here..

one bad thing just thought id get ill n croke.. not have to arrange my end days care and all that stuff.. all right on n about my BIRTHDAY.. to

funny from beginning to end on B/D  (ironic)

 

 

lots more like the lump on my lungs i refuse to deal with .. what does it mater now..

 

I just dont wanna die in pain!

 

so now have to fig out when i get so ill i cant care for myself like happened this last mo when i now weigh 85 #s... not good...

then get told can't have stuff I feel I need

 

SURVIVAL is NOT a great lifestyle ok!

have to do whats necessary to just get thru next TRIAL/trauma

 

now I do keep busy, or i'd really go off the deep end..

 

I do PHOTOGRAPHY (my passion) and garden, craft, games on pogo (good for brain) and all i can when i'm feeling ok which lately hasn't been that often.. sucks

made me a peaceful santuary in my back yard so i'm out with nature much as possible and do my pictures and post n publish thats bout all I can handle..

 

now to deal with all this new stuff and what's  next? beats the hell outta me

 

 

so I called Hospice, called about senior stuff and now to see if I can get any help in any areas?

 

 

 

 

I so need my truck fixed, hate being stranded on my good days.. and having to find ppls to take me drs n shoping sucks

 

and towns full of FLAKES