these are the best days of our lives

I spent yesterday at Kingsdominion with just hunter, richard and rose were at prom, but we dont get to hang out that much so we figured why not?

IT was pretty fun, really chill too. like we didnt even ride anything for about 3 hours, we just walked around and talked to people that we knew who worked there. IT was fun really. eventually the park started to get less crowded so we were able to start riding things, we rode all the wooden coasters, and then we were hungry so we got fries, and sat under the light in the grass haha. by then it was dark, while we were eating Ed and vex and seth and their family showed up and it was weird because it was like they crowded around us and watched us eat. BEfore that it was like me and hunter were watching a little show, like distanced from people walking but in veiw of everything. and then it turned on us and we were suddenly the little show. but it was alot of fun from there  we joined there "posse" and rose the flight of fear, i rode with vexi i was so tired by the end of the day, i was happy to be home and there i crashed. HOwever i was almost done playign with lyrics from other songs and it didnt save on my computer it was very sad.

i have been wondering how sam is. since i dont know its driving me crazy, i feel guilty for going out and having fun when i donbt know what hes doing?

Mothersday is today, it was nice my mom and me went down to the tappahanak and went to this mini beach, i remembered being there as a kid, and i had forgotten all about that place, to bad we didnt get to stay very long, we only got to be there for an hour, because my mom promised soe friends she would meet up with them. but it was nice, were going to go agian some time soon but this time ill bring a book and a bucket for the pebbles i collect its just somthing i always do. and we'll stay there longer, we had a mini picknic this time as well, it was nice. My  mom also told me about how she went there when she was little, its a small place, and there wasnt many people there we had this little area all to ourselves. I got breaking dawn finally, so im going to go ahead and get started on it, i have more to type but my wrists are tired, as odd as that is.

Im at my moms house, and i plan on staying here all week. Its mainly because i dont want to carpool with sam and allison. im avoiding that. i think ill pass on the awkward stares that allisons mom gives us because of the sudden tension that would be there. AS much as i would like to think there would be none.. there would be quite alot, so ill just play it safe, and not go there yet, besides im going to be in the art room this week in the morning, not because im afraid of facing sam or anything, because i would rather be in the art room, the atmosphere is so calming, and im behind on my project im almost done which gives me more drive, like when im reading a book and you cant put it down when your almost done because your so close to the conclusion its impossible to stop. anyways im not sure how math will be.. i dont know if he wants to sit by me, or if i should get shelby to sit in the middle.. im not sure what i want.. i guess it all depends on how he reacts to seeing me.

Anyways the main point of this blog, and leaving my book was because my brothers music was to loud, i was glad i saw him today this morning and he was nice to me, i missed my brother, when hes you know being my brother. He's not the same like hes so much more immature, but somtimes he can still talk to me.. half of its pointless and doesnt make sense.. but hes there, but then his friends came over, and i didnt really care because i distanced myself in some room with my face on pages, but i was suddenly disrupted with overly loud music. and it wasnt good music at that . i figured it would pass but it didnt so, i came to the realization that it was my brother and his friends outside with the car radio blasting at an un nessesary volume. I went outside awkwardly and as useless as my attempt was to politly as them to turn it down when there right there whats the point of having it that loud? i ignored the two kids sitting on the car hood and went straight for my brother in the front. he acted all cool, being around his friends, and blew me off completly, when it wasnt long before they came over he was all buddy buddy . then shawn one of his other, highly messed up friends turned around while smoking a joint.. >.> and mumbled somthing that i couldnt catch because.. hey what do you know the music was to damn loud. anyways it bothered me alot, and i just went back inside casually, and excepted my wasted attempt.

I dont know if i should talk to him on aim or anything i mean i want to , im not avoiding him or anything but i want to do whats going to be easiest for him, I dont want to talk to him and make it worsre. im Just not going to talk to him unless he talks to me first, that will give me the ok, i soppose.-.- his aim profile at the moment annoys me, but its his so i guess he can put whatever he wants, its like

farewell, ill miss you
Im sick of these good byes,

well its like if your sick of them stop saying good bye, or atleast he can know that thats the last one hes going to have to make with me. i dont want him to avoid me and have to miss everyone else, if he wants to go somewhere like in the morning area, he can go there i'll leave someone else if he'd like thats not fair to make him go, but then agian i think he has more friends in the cafateria, so im guessing thats where he wants to go regardless of eveything. Im only kind of avoiding him, but not his phone calls, im just afraid of seeing him at school, and afraid hes going to like get upset or somthing, and i dont wanna see that, cause i cant handle it either.