Felt very rough this morning and really struggled with every stage of getting up and out! I suppose it may have been one too many drinks last night but I didn't have any more than any other week. I think maybe the late hour I've been going to sleep caught up with me too as I felt utterly tired and drained. Seems I wasn't the only one, A took the day off sick today and treated herself to a morning in her "snuggly pit". Bless. That didn't stop her giving me some grief later - I had an e-mail from E asking if I was going to the betting shop to put a bet on the Gold Cup and if I was could I do one for her. I wasn't but I did, its no big deal (the horse wasn't placed). Apparently this was a cheek and I shouldn't have entertained the idea. Consensus was - Y chipped in to - she was taking the piss, but hey, I might be a soft touch but it was no skin off my nose and I do know where the line is between help and advantage. I know they mean well but I wish sometimes they'd accept thats how I am. I could never hate someone because they stopped loving me. And if the person wants a favour then fine, I wouldn't have said no 6 weeks ago so would should I now?
Did a food shop tonight. A true singleton way to spend a Friday night! A weird experience in some ways, I think its fair to say that for the past 5 years I'd simply pushed the trolley while it was filled with little regard or opinion to what went in it. Tonight I found myself almost planning meals, if I was going to buy a curry sauce, I'd better buy some chicken too. That kind of thing! Even bought all the bits to make a big pot of chilli, which was yummy, even if it may not have been the best choice for someone who had spent the morning squirting liquid out of every orifice.
And so to bed. I said I'd watch JR's football match at 10.30, but I dont intend being up much before that!
Another long day. Actually a very long day. Had another snap at der big boss. Highlight was driving the big knobs to the races in one of their fancy X5 BMW's.
For the second day I had an e-mail conversation with E which she inititated. I know its no big victory, but I'm taking anything I can and to me, her speaking first is a moral victory! I do miss her though. I want to come home, have her smiling face look up at me from the sofa as I stumble through the door. I want to spend those pre-dinner minutes moaning about work. But they are gone. I know that. I have no denial, I know they're gone. But that doesn't make it easy.
Skittles tonight and we won, just. I was the stereotypical curates egg. Had a huge 17 spare but missed 3 others. I also had a 4, 5 and 6. Total score 65 which I know I should be happy with but I cant help being irritated by the ones that got away. Geez I should have had 80 . And the best part? I won the raffle! London Irish was the winning ticket.
Felt bad about A and her phone today. Its all very well me talking about 485 texts and how switching to contract has saved me a fortune, but A is still pay as you go and as the majority of my 485 went to her, I'm costing her a fortune. And I feel bad about that. So I called Orange tonight and sorted her out with a bargain contract. I told her all the details and she's going to sort it. I would pay it myself but I think that crosses a line into...I dunno desperation, saddo territory? Having said that, its her birthday next week and - as long as she doesn't sort a contract before then - I am DEF going to buy her some phone credit as a present. Melodramatic maybe, but my life right now really would be zero without A.
Tried to go shopping tonight, the food cupboards are bare, but when I got there they were already shut! Was sure they stayed open later than 8. Never mind, I had a chinese instead. Had to chuckle at the fortune cookie: "Your love life will soon be happy and harmonious" it said. So that's good then!!
Becky, the lady from the agency who got me my job called at work today, primarily it was one of those courtesy calls to my boss but as I answered she asked me how I was etc, was I liking it any better than the last time we spoke. I couldn't say much so I just e-mailed her....
Phoned my nan tonight, she seemed fine. She is going on "holiday" to a care home next week. Going in for 10 days to see how she likes it. She's nearly 97 and by her own admission is getting noticeably weaker and less able with each passing month. She can't continue to live on her own for much longer, so this makes sense I think.
One to file under "Silver linings" - I scanned and e-mailed from work the old photo I have of me, A, J, T and C and now its staring back at me as a desktop wallpaper. I checked my old diary, it was taken November 4th 2000.
So I changed my mobile phone to an online contract type? 15 pounds for 400 texts and 200 minutes talk a month.
First month is up and according to my bill I sent...get this... 485 texts!!! Geez!!
That means I have to pay an extra 8.67, total 23.67. Could've been worse, under the old system I would've shelled out 48.50!!
Swimming tonight and my total is up another 4 to 46 lengths - my legs were like jelly afterwards but have recovered now. If I'm to get to that 64 target (one mile) before May then I'll have to start thinking a bit, i.e. I need to take a drink with me and have a sensible high energy tea - like carbos, pasta or something!
Watched the film Jumper on the computer tonight Its quite new, still at the cinema, but I'm watching it free online. I found this site where you can watch films - and its not illegal as they are not downloaded rip offs but free streams (no, I don't understand either!) Quality is a bit poor, stretch the image any larger than letter box size and it pixelates badly. Which made The Kite Runner, which I watched the other night, straight after finishing reading the book, with large chunks of it subtitled (is largely set in Afghanistan) hard to watch!
Hoping for a better day at work tomorrow, I haven't moaned about it for a while?! Better things to worry about I suppose. You know I haven't spoke to anyone other than work people since I got home from Torquay on Sunday afternoon? What a sad existence! So work, we have reviews soon and I believe (hopeful expectation!) that I will get a good report. On the whole I'm doing pretty well now I know what I'm doing and the managers I work for often praise me, but the German bossman treats me like I'm stupid or a liar or don't know what I'm doing just about every time we speak. I lost my rag and had a shout at him today! So anyway, is this something I mention in my review? I mean do I say, "if you think I'm great, then what's his problem?!"
No, I know its not worth it but...
Anyway, time for bed I think. I have 20 minutes of this film left to watch and I keep telling myself its about time I got my sleep pattern sorted, I'm still watching TV until I finally fall asleep which for 5 weeks now has been around 1 am.
And another dull day. Swimming tonight tho
