Well i am here and this is the first offical journal update!!! So far, so (generally) good. Done some stuff which i am not proud of but i think iam doing ok : ) oh and Manchester is generally nice as well although lacks the itimate feel of Newcastle.

Computer Games Technology is the course and so far im breezing through it soooo easily

11th November i travel to Holland to go to Rotterdam and see the best DJ in the world :) Armin Van Buuren at his 10th aniversary show Armin Only 9 and half hour set from 10pm to 8.30am so hopefully that will be good. Going back up home for my sisters 18th in 1-2 weeks so that will be nice i guess. The only other thing i could wish for atm is obviously for some money but other than that, Luke to use his brains and figure a solution for me to be able to use mirc ;P putty is nice but its no mirc :(

im off to play on Bio (et server) so gg and gn :)

Oh well my mother has gone on holiday and left me with no money : which was considerate of her. Rang the university on Friday to make sure they had recieved my application stuff back, but the women I needed to speak to wasnt there so they took my name and number and I will be recieving a call later on today I guess. Got letter from bank saying my account had been upgraded to Student Additions and with it a 200 pound interest overdraft :D, also got news from the accomidation and there is no space left in the halls :( which means private accomidation which can turn out cheaper in the long run I guess but ill sort it later today.

I was thinking with this 200 overdraft I dont have enough money to get a new computer (although I could get the account upgraded to 1000) so I was thinking should I just upgrade the laptop for now; from

80GB 4200rpm > 80/100GB 7200rpm
512MB ddr333 (2x256MB) > 1GB stick

The laptop is plugged in the majority of the time so the power issue with the new hard drive doesnt matter at all. Another thing PC3200 seems to be cheaper than a PC2700 stick so do i just buy the faster sodimm and run it at a lower speed ?

Hmm alot to think about :D Good night for now

By hours I meant days :P the way it is. I was going to write some big long story but I will cut to the point. My exams results were pretty terrible but I decided to apply to a few universities directly and cut a long story short i am going ^^

My main choices were going to De Montfort with Ryan or going to Manchester and doing a foundation year, I choose Manchester :x at first and still now I guess my mother isnt too keen on the idea due to the money issues but I sent my accomidation application back today along with my application/reference and i'll try and get finace sorted before I go down there for a opening day on the 6th September.

Downloaded Armin Van Buuren - State of trance 2006 couple of nights ago, its really good. Played Elite in the ESL IPS qualifier game earlier on, got beat but not bad for "mix" team I suppose.

Student finace/loan = new computer for me though come september ^^

Nearly 4 monthes since my last entry, I'm sure you can wait a few hours more for my rivating entry coming tomorrow :-)

Wow havent posted in agessss. Em really i dont know what to write about tbh. i'll get the hang of it again. The title is my confession of late i'am really becoming too addicated to ET i mean according to xfire, the 2nd week of my half term (the week which i set aside to do work) i played 50-60 hours of ET, and i didnt get much work done. Anyway off that subject *should look embarrashed tbh lol* i should have been going out tonight but couldnt get anywhere to stay so i thought why bother, saves some money i would have had to pay back anyway. This week felt me and anya are getting back to the way we used to be so its much more enjoyable being round her, sidenote thanks for buying me my dinner and bringing gatecrasher cd in finally :p

Another slighty worrying or very sweet thing depends how i look at it, seems someone is slighty obessed with me, im being sweet but i dont know feel like i would be taking advantage of her.

Oh well its a problem for another day.

Well yeh we lost what a debut woo

4 - 0
4 - 0

Lovely, really - line up was me, laffer1, dutchie. Got a demo from the 2nd match might watch that. I'am putting the loss-es down to lack of practice/coms on my part mainly. Oh well got a match next sunday 3v3 going to practice and Marc asked to be added to the squad, I think we are going for the old FM cb team ie Dutchie, Promo, Evanbraakensiek (killanddie as 4th although he's better than me :p) we have played together and work well, I have ringed for carlos and marc individually as well (and won) so we shall see. Got another new member Gsus (canadian) a very good player who wants to play in cb so dutchie hooked him up to me thanks for that. Even tranix has shown some interest, made a cb account for him anyway. Erm cut wimpie because he is too much effort for not enough skill basically.

Anyway, got some info about job, they have a need for waiters/waitresses/dishwashers (then stephen asked if i was over 18, hazel answers yes- oh then he will probably be put behind the bar). Ok i wouldnt mind behind the bar or waiter tbh, half decent money as well.

Man U won 1-2 away at Bolton (our bogey team as well woo go us) and i think thats 8 straight premiership wins, think record is 9/10 (held by us unless chelsea broke it last year or arsenal in their 49 unbeaten run) anyway and chelsea drew as well so 7 point gap now we can win LOL, play Arsenal next week urgh maybe not.

http://www.clanbase.com/warinfo.php?wid=5427482

Woo go me im offically a Nations Cup admin (although they is only 5 games left) and a 3v3 Spring Cup admin woo go me, means tomorrow i will be making my ETTV debut in the Germany vs UK match ^^ ah i'll be in the same server as Raz, Ste, Butchji, etc *creams himself* LMAO

Night night

Ok, going to be a busy weekend, the ET matches are finally here both of them, talked to a cup admin on irc (has some use i suppose) and no guid is not a forfit win (damn lol). Enough of ET talk tbh, em will try and get a good majority of my English Language coursework done over the weekend as well as its in for Friday. Um talked to Anya last night, about how've ive been lately and stuff to do with her and why ive been "miserable" lately. I'am changing I think or just contemplating again (rather like at christmas time), although I have little patience or time for some people and just feel like ive screwed up and i would rather be "miserable" and get work done to my standard that be a class clown and fail....again. Jimmy Pringle was talking to my mam about how i should be getting myself up to the middle school on wednesday nights to practice (cumberland wrestling) "wasting his talent", all I can do is *sigh* from monday i'am beginning to get back on track

- Asking about a job in the Newcastle House for a Saturday at least (Money sorted)
- Starting to train (weights and general fitness/diet for the summer - cumberland wrestling)
- Going to tell Natalie that I fancy her (lovelife sorted)
- Attend every lesson from now on (General Studies exception), that means having early nights potentialy long periods in the library in between lessons but it must be done. Also start going to maths help classes to ensure i pass, and hopefully get a good mark. (college sorted)
- Cut ET down to a maximum of 1 hour per night, weekdays and 10 hours over the weekend, includes ETTV in the time before i whine thats not really ET though.

Some half decent news though the darkness that is my sorry state, NHS are offering a similiar thing for cars as they did with computers, so my mam might be getting a car (lots of benefits too many to explain here), if she does then, I will definalty learn to drive as I won't be burdened with 1000 insurance before i even started. Going to see if i can get a hold of my uncle ian early tomorro see if he will lend me some money for a headset or take me away and get my mam to give me some money for a new desk as well. Oh well im off to bed 04.22 is too late to be staying up these days, goodnight to the person i'am, and good morning to the person i want to be....

Well she wasnt in on Monday so that sucks and loads of people were striking and all the schools were off, so I skived Tuesday as well. Last night finished off the darts competition between Three Wheats Head to decide who represents us in the Doubles competition next week and the singles the week after. I played Jimmy Jackson who had a flawless record up until then and Ann (6th) on this occassion, played awesomely well in the first game against JJ and was finishing within 9 darts (thats really really good) but again my finishing is shit so he kept scoring then hit his double after 2 shots, that was really a kick in the teeth, I needed to beat him if i was going into the singles then to rup salt into the wound I even lost to Ann (im the only regular that managed to lose to the 6th) that was really bad and again double 1 finish, thats the 5th competitve match ive lost on double 1 and 2nd against a women wow LOL, got some free money to buy some drink though so meh. In the last game tom played Jimmy and won so they both got 4/5 and i was the only one to beat Tom (our captain), silver lining ? I did however challenge Jared (kinda) i said by the time next season starts I could beat him (I actually feel i can as well), for only playing like 1/4 of a season most people will agree that I'am a excellent player ^^ roll on next season and good luck to me, Tom, Jared, Jimmy in the doubles next week.

Doubles - Cross Keys

Jared & Jimmy
Me & Tom

Singles - Queens Head

Michael
Tom

Was out in Rothbury on monday night, darts/drinking last night, and I'am supposed to be stopping over at Peters Tonight and go to the Farriers - bit too much drinking maybe? Kronenberg Monday lmao

Erm what else, i finally  got a myspace account after pressure from somebody that messaged me (shared messagner - another stupid thing like msn space) for the first day yesterday called Vikki, Jareds been telling me for a while to get one up as well so why not

www.myspace.com/evanbraakensiek

Erm ET wise im working on the server config (based on SNL) and everything should be sorted by Saturday, 3v3 which we will win by forfit unless they get some guids registered soon, pays to notice the new rule changes ^^ - usually i would'nt class that as a win but the Sprin Open cups have opened up for registration so I'am trying to get as many games played before the closing date April 9th.

Right yes its very late LOL but me and Tim have decided something, on monday im going to flirt/say something to the girl i like if i get a positive response he will say something to Marii, if i dont get a good response then he wont. However he doesnt read this so im getting a good response anyway :) , although i hope i do get a good response I think i will, going off how she has been acting so far.

Im very much liking my new desktop, pure white picture of a digitally made DJ set looks fab. Even unistalled loads of shit just so it looks nicer. OK Night

Just made this and the last post with latest Just Journal Clients pretty good, I usually just use the site to write but that has way too many options and "stuff" now its just over the top (and doesnt work), think I'll stick with this now.

As the title says im at home, should be in college really but I actually want to get some work done, been focusing on doing my computing coursework (Second Year) and Ive managed to get a registered copy of FRAPS so I can finally start my English Coursework, which is due in on the 7th (we got a extension).
Computing coursework update - Ive finally finished inputting 22 pages of Dance and Electronic-Trance and Techno wow that really did suck imagine if i had to do this as a actual programme. 3316 lines so far and ive got to put in my custom entries (like Tiesto, Armin Van Buuren, Paul Oakenfold, Ferry Corsten etc who appear in the Dance and Electronic-Bestsellers section) stupid really. I estimate about 3500 lines of code (it still techniqually is code LOL) for the this. I decided to instead of use databases and search (for the searching section of the programme anyway) to use a text file (renames to .ini) and write code which will search this instead.

Example of how something is written in DancenElectronic-TrancenTechno.ini (filename)

aGames
bBBE
dTales Of History
dNew Romantic
dSymphonic Paradise
dBar
dAudience And The Bird
dLe Grande Theme
dSeven Days And One Week
dUniversal Flash
dFlash
dFirst Level
dCosmos
dDesire
dAquatic Nebular
dFreetime
dLe Noveau Monde
dRock In The Sky
dSecond Level
dExit

a=Album name
b=Artist
c=CD number (or double albums/complations)
d=song name

On the form where the user searchs for his/her music they type what they want to search for then select from a combo box (Artist, Album/Complalation, Song)and then when they hit search, classic IF statement saying if combobox1 = Artist then search DancenElectronic-TrancenTechno.ini by a

You get the picture anyway. Since Im "only" using about 1/7 of the dance music (listed on amazon.co.uk) my search algorithm only has to search through the one .ini file, but in reality if i were to expand this then it would say 10 sections for each genre so maybe upto 100 text (.ini) files so I would try and get the user to choose genre as well to cut down the amount of searching, but I dont have to LOL. After this i have got to try and figure out a payment process and also a update process, where by on the main form the user clicks buy music, then the programme checks a site/server? to see if they are any updates for DancenElectronic-TrancenTechno.ini ie containing new music and if so download and replace the old one, seems simple enough doesnt it ? If i manage to do that then thats 1/3 of the programme done (but the project finished in reality cause the other 2 are extra's), ability to play music and transfer music. Im liking VB2005 kinda cool, much better than VB6 and despite me having to re-learn some stuff and watch videos Im liking it.

Mmmm ok after getting a lift off my uncle Michael to darts last night, we played some darts but are only half way through so we are deciding who is representiung us in the singles/doubles.

As it stands at the moment

Jimmy Jackson - W3
Jared Bell"end" - W2 L1
Richard "The Stud" Armstrong  W1 L2
Tom "Captain" I - W1
Michael "Sexy Boy" Scott - W1
6th member supposed to be Guy but

Ok now Despite losing 2 (to michael and Jared - although I should have beaten Michael and I just played pure bad against Jared) I beat Tom without trouble and was on fire didnt even give him a chance to finish, woo me. Although some politics in the car back seems jimmy despite playing 3 and won 3 *sigh* doesnt want to play in the singles, neither does Jared. This leaves me, Michael, Tom going up for the 2 single spots, already beaten Tom i'am in a strong position for this i should win against the 6th and that leaves a match against Jimmy to make up 3 final points *hopefully* and michael and Tom have to play each other to for the other spot "HOPEFULLY". Anyway i know for a fact im playing in one of the doubles teams. Jimmy and Jared are making up one team and me + Tom/Micheal as my partner but i cant see this happening as everyone knows im a very good doubles player, even finished last night in 1 dart against Micheal/Tom with Jared. But say i win my other two singles and thus me techniqually earning my place on the sinlges that leaves either Tom/Michael not competing in either. Hmm ponders LOL ok i have high expectations and im going to be late for computing so bye.

Umm day was pretty boring actually didnt get up to go to General Studies, 3 weeks now... Anyway got the 1.40 bus in and was 10minutes early for it!!!! For anyone that knows me this is something unheard of, i even went to the bank  (pay johnathans cash in for resits and my uncle wriote me a cheque to pay for my ebay fees - nice of him) and to the bakery and still 10mins early lol. Ok im not crazy :p

Got straight into English, was talking with Natalie seems she and her boyfriend have split as well *tries not to smile too much*, told her me and Anya had split as well, think she seemed quite suprised and asked "you think you two will get back together? ". Which i said "NO". Mmmmm k LOL was texting Tracey about it, conflict of interest maybe who knows i'm feeling alot if things for people atm and I dont know. Ive got Anya as a friend now but she is no Tracey by a long shot, and I dont know if, sounding very confused here. Anya has left me in a awkard position and Tracey knows all about it so there would be no embarrasment etc but if anything were to happen I would be losing someone i care alot about, so maybe Natalie is the safer option. Im just confused and talking crap.

Anyway.... I think the clan stuff has been taking my mind off the whole crappyness of my life (sounding very emo) recently and *rolls up sleeve and starts cuts one's self* LOL just joking. Here is the team so far

Perfection Defined pd/

evanbraakensiek (me - english)
asgard (ryan - english)
ownaholic (adam - english)
wimpie (wim - belgian)
laffer1 (luke - american)
tim (timo - estonian)
gangsta (miguel - american)

Saturday ive got two 3v3's lined up hopefully at 7pm GMT and 9pm GMT against teams at the bottom/near. Hmm i choose supply depot2 as the map against the first clan and brandorf in the 2nd match. I want everyone who turns up to play and adam has already said he doesnt want to play all the matches which is good

evan
laffer1
tim

thats the line up for the first game me thinks depends how badly we beat them on our map (ill ask to play fiirst) ill start to move in subs, asgard and wimpie if they show up. Mmm we shouldnt have any problems [END ET TALK]

Last Tuesday was the last darts match of the season, tomorrow night though we having a competition at the 3 wheats to decide who is going to represent us in singles/doubles for the upcoming competitions. Tom also spoke last week of getting the Thropton and Rothbury pubs to make a summer league to keep us sharp  for next season. Seems like a good idea and I wouldnt have to travel far either. Well my only chance tomorrow is as being a doubles partner which means i have to hit high scores not necceserly  finish which is what has happened for the last 2 doubles matches matches ive played and won woo lol. OK good luck richard you'll need it.

I felt Anya deserved her own post tbh so thats why i made a seperate one. Friday night ok i gave in and finally went out with Jared, in Morpeth. Was very disappointed that Tracey couldnt come havent been out with her before either but soon enough. Anyway Friday morning-afternoon meh doesnt matter, left early ie skipped maths last lesson so i could get home earlier. Anyway after loads of crap, i ended up missing one bus, was still in the house so wasnt sweaty or crap like that. Ok was standing at bus stop and George comes and starts waiting ok i can handle that he is a nice guy and used to be friends with him. He wont be going to the Red Bull anyway. Just as the bus pulls up, Leanne walks up, ah man she looked so hot. Remembering why i fancied her to start with, but i know she has a bf (and has had for a while now). Makes my way down to the red bull after the intital "woo shit its armstrong" got myself some drinks and settled straight back in. Night goes on, meet some new people (at Black Bull) play and win a game of Pool (doubles with adam russell) beat ben (aggressive cunt when he gets beaten lmao) and nigel (ha you fat chink :p) then me and jared went to the Waterford cause it was the only place that still had gusiness hats. Didnt stay there long made our way back to the Red Bull through The Black Bull again even sat with leanne and some others, most of them talking about how much ive changed (nothing said between me and leanne though hmm)  and turned hot!! LOL some of the girls i was talking to (who had turned pretty hot themselves) said you used to be short and cocky now though you hot and really nice *richard blushes at this point* and they laugh and say see. Despite hints and flirting i just wasnt interested in "pulling" or getting of with anyone at that point. I sent some pretty dumb messages which i regret. Overall though a very good night with company who actually like me for me and not because i was Anyas bf. Anyway after a long (for jared anyway) lift back his mum now knows he has a gf called siobon lmao ooooops :) and i think, will get confirmation tomorrow whether or not i kissed his mum as well LOL drink  + richard = nice

Hmm ok, start alot of posts with that, prehaps me finding the best way to put down things I suppose.

Ok, this will be the hardest post ive ever made or will it. Talking about the whole Anya thing, im not going to talk about reasons why we broke up because in truth I dont know, reasons are shit tbh. No matter how much i sugar coat my dissapoinment im still disppointed and angry and very embarrased about the whole thing because no matter what unless I divulge details to people i always will be regarded as the bad guy after what happened at Simons Party.

Most if not all of her "friends" probably do question why she ever went out with me in the first place, so support from them was as you can imagine few and far between, with exceptions of course but not enough. She was the best and worst thing that has happened to me I can say that truthfully, i learnt to love something other than myself which of course is a good thing. But the frustration and anger i felt at times with her was just too must. I was constantly put into situations where she knew i would be uncomfortable/not like them and despite this nothing changed, i would bite my toungue and not say anything and then be called miserable or told to cheer up. I gave alot and recieved nothing, that didnt bother me, such is how i felt about her. She just doesn't learn at all in regards to things or some peoples motives. She will continue to be taken advantage of and will feel miserable but she chooses this (read coward) and she will never find happyness until she learns to appreciate her self-worth and know she is better than *cough*  but tbh not my problem any more. I'am not going to fight for her anymore, im worth more and dont deserve to be treated how I have been. Something has been stolen from me and i'am feeling very angry, does make me wonder why I execised such self control to start with and being a gentlemen, really it wasnt worth it and now i have to suffer. I hope she feels happy, cause she found a guy who actually who did treat her how she deserved and respected her both as a friend and girlfriend. 1 piece of advice im going to give which will be ignored, whoever you end up with next please dont talk about you previous bf's at all, your a good looking girl but this has been the main reason youve been getting bf's not because of your personality, this sounds very harsh but it comes down to you learning selfworth stop giving yourself so cheaply, learn to say no.

Thank you for everything you've help me become.

Oh well the last 3 days have kinda sucked for 3 different reasons

Sunday - Not so much bad news but i found out ive got a half sister called Emily, mmmm ok.

Monday- Got my results they suck

Tuesday- Me and Anya are finished meh nothing much to say about that at the moment, decided to still go to darts and payed my bar tab off overall a pretty crap start to a week but my mam is being nice despite me spending the money she gave me for shoes on drink. Mam knows best indeed.

I draw my stength from you, my passion from you but my anger seems to be inspired by you, my fury unleashed upon whom you hate. - Current MSN Nickname thing

Meh thought it was a cool thing to mention. Anyway weekend was kinda boring did nothing basically, today was results day for the exams we took back in January, meh kinda sucky results tbh honest did better in my resits but not much better. Means ive i re-take more exams to get the results i know im capable of then i have the prospect of doing maybe 12+ exams in the summer for 3 subjects sigh. Taking ryans advice on this one, for every hour I game, do 1 hours revision.

Anyway met Anya outside my english class she was talking to Andy, then Amanda came as well, all talking about Friday night -  wasnt out on Friday so just smile and don't look stupid lol. She decided to wait for me and after another good English class (thanks natalie) i walked with Amanda and Anya back to haymarket, wooooo can either of them get anymore miserable.

While listening to music on the bus home i got a message which kinda has me worried tbh, although I dont know if its what i think it will be about then that will give me a excuse (very unspecific here to protect myself) as im kindanot feeling what i used to, or never did - i think i deserver better.

"Can i speak to u 2moro, there are reasonz ive been down but wud prefer to talk in person. u need to kno. coz it aint fair on both of us. xXx"

Been going to CGZ alot recently and playing new games, but my heart is still with ET.

Right i decided to try and make the www.pdclan.co.uk site on the bus to college today - lol it looked crap. Inside of using the template i decided on i needed a very job done, and used Front Page. The site (new one i been doing tonight) looks very very simple but looks really nice in my opinion even better when more content is added (some reason the text box on the main page looks crappy in firefox but the rest of the site looks fine). I've registered us with CB and hopefully we will be accepted tbh i cant see why they wouldnt. Even had the cheek to post on our site who will be our first 3 opponents in 3v3 and 2 in 6v6 thanks how confindent i'am. Hopefully some of the other players i asked will join so we will have some very capable players in pd/ otherwise i will have to continue to search and train up prospective members hmm.
Also found out about Electronic Sports League may consider entering us into this as well, need to reseach it further. I dont think many of our players will want to play in twl because of the ping [sorry luke :) ] not sure about CAL/STA yet either. Havent looked into CAL at all and I think STA may be abit too high for us to start in, although i know all of the teams who compete in it.

If we get accepted means the servers will need to be sorted with maps and configs etc. Also need to find best time for everyone to practice. Ah the life of CL :P

Oh and if Luke does ever get round to reading this then he has a invite to join pd/ :) hopefully he will accept it.

Well now that the weekend is over and indeed monday for that matter, im feeling alot better now - still havent seen anya since ummmmmm last wednesday i think but have been texting her, the break has probably done us both the world of good - me at least it has. I didnt do much over the weekend so not much to report, i did manage to siot through most of the vb.net tutorial videos which im glad lol. Today hmm everyone was up in the Armstrong house, lol well for abit I just went back to sleep :) Got into Newcastle for 11.55 and ran straight to the gate, the film I wanted to watch started at 11.45 got there for 12 sigh hmm decision time watch The Weatherman at 12 or go see Date Movie at 1. We went to see date movie cause ryan was hungary and we wanted to play at CGZ for abit. After getting way too much cheap food (got to love eldon food) and treating ryan to greggs we played Unreal Tournament 2004 cause the only 2 PC's that have ET (2.55 and PUB lol) were been updated and neither of use fancied COD2. I really do rape at Unreal lol I played the GOTY edition but i expected a big change nope - had me, ryan, and tim playing with bots and i raped them both haha only lost 2 of 7 games woo me :P Umm Date Movie was shit tbh only had a few good jokes and way too many paradies seriously lazy writers. Went back to CGZ for another quick game and turned up to English late but 2 hour lesson so meh. Im really starting to like English again no small part to Natalie and Jack lol mainly Natalie, she's a really nice "lass" today involved us describing/drawing our perfect partners and i found out we have similiar tastes in things ie BMW's yummy and my taste in men seems to be pretty good as well lmao. I really do like when girls get/do embarrasing things ah man its great, with the leftover sweets (lolli pops) from Ryan i gave some to Natalie and Simon and when i was talking to her she stoppped and went to pull out her lolli pop out her mouth to say something when spit/drool came from her mouth/lolli and landed on the desk ah man she was embarrased - I just smiled and said it was alright. Seems her bf said he loves her and also managed to offend her in the same text (wtf) as well so we both had a laugh about that. Oh well got home after eating monster munch to death on the bus lol. Done nought basically all night i think apart from watch South Park and Del Boy/Rodders :) had a quick game of ET on the stats box bah i sucked even had some of former clan FM there to encourage me. Yes former clan, i'am no longer in FM and deciding that playing in Clanbase was more important than TWL atm i made my own clan pd/ (Perfection Defined?) <----Not finalised and have been recruiting some members already. Bought the domain www.pdclan.co.uk and have 2 servers running both 20 slot, of which i will make one of them public and one a private/match server. Need to talk to Ryan about this actually hmm.Ebay money should be through by Friday at the latest so i can pay people back money

Sister - 30
Mam - 60-100
Ryan - Not sure
Johnathan - Like 10 (or 2 pizza huts)
Try and buy Jared soething if i have anything left over as well.

Anyway described things in way too much detail cause im bored and cant get to sleep oh well. Good night Richard, good night....Im still awake lol.