hmm you know something, I inherently see people on a higher level than me. I mean, I knew that was the case w/ some ppl-- like, I just fee that they're older. But i have begun to realize that its not just age.. its like.. i refrain from being friends with people because i intrinsically and generally subconsciously feel that they are not going to want to be friends with me. Why would they want to be friends with someone inferior to them? I mean...its possible and probable that i am NOT inferior to them in most ways, I just FEEL that i am. I'm sure its based in superficial aspects... ie I'm fat... but i think i fear being less cool, less interesting... i dunno.

why am i so fucked up?