Good Morning to you.... Well today is Sat and me and Christina are going to go out tonight to Kickers and get something to eat in Clarksvegas like usual. JUst the two of us no Matt. Ummm been a ok few days noting great just normal stuff. Havent talked to Barry since the last post he has been online though but we havent talked. Thats ok no big deal. I am ok with what it is with us or what it will be with us. I Have not talked to Kevin since I gave him the whole fuck off message on Monday 1/2/06 I just cant keep giving and not receive from who ever I am friends with it isnt fair to me and I am not going to be used like that to help make someone else feel better about themselves. Same for Barry if he cant be there for me when I need someone then I cant be here for him when he needs me. No matter what. So time is helping me to realize that. I dont need to be used. OK today I am back on my diet. I HAVE TO STICK WITH IT I can tell I have gained and I feel terrible. I weighted myself and weighed 238 last I weighed was 232 but from where I was at 289 I can complain too much I guess.OK well till next time.. oh yeah me and Christina and Matt went to Aplebes last nite and had drinks. We had a hot waiter and lets just say he wanted me ...lol I got two kieeses a massage and a big ole hug he was hot his name was Tommy.. lived in Clarksville on Madison st off exit 11.... anyway ..lol till next time c-ya

Done noting .. really took new TABE test didnt do so well. Was online... Barry talked to me and was very nice was a bit surprised though. Had a short conversation. He told me where he was on New Years Eve and he said he wanted me to know he was there without a date said he didnt want to be accused of anything. I said ok if you say so. He says he is going to find another job and take a resignation.. so he wont be in court we will see where he goes with it.. if he doesnt go to court will we be together? No I doubt it ..We will see.....

I stayed with you on Dec 23rd we went to the movies and saw the family stone and ate at Cracker Barrell You made love to me when we came home to your house and of course it was wonderful. We slept and you held me all nite. When we woke you satisfied me with your hands and mouth . you so enjoy that . We exchanged x-mas gifts the night before bed. You made breakfast and I came home about 11 I talked to you on x-mas morning and then you avoided me on Monday all day until I came to your house on Tues and you told me you wanted to see other people and blah blah blah I knew you were lying to me. I saw it with the tears that were welled up in your eyes. I returned your gifts you gave me for my b-day and x-mas. I never want you to think I was with you for what you could give me .... I messaged you online and said I wanted to be friends and you asked if you could call me I said yes and we talked for 40 minutes you told me you would call me when things are over there was alot to what was going on and you didnt want to involve me and thats fine I understand sort of I still think you need people when you are going through a hard time in your life. I told you I am here for you no matter what anytime day or night I am here for you . I want you to need me as much as I need you ... to want me in your life like I want you in mine. PLease want me