Reasonable day at work. Weather was odd, I sat outside on a wall at lunchtime and read my book, a hot sun on my face. But from mid-afternoon onwards it poured with rain. Spoke with P yesterday and as I am going to give swimming a miss for a few weeks due to my scabbiness (I have to think that cacky chemical water isn't helping) I asked him if he wants to sell his old racing bike. He wanted 100 quid which is ok. Actually he said 85 but I said I'd give him 100 if he maintains it for a year - like a years warranty. Meant it mostly as a joke but he said ok then, deal. That's ok tho, its a decent bike so I'm happy to pay a hundred. Anyway, the reason I mention this here is because at lunchtime with the sun shining I thought ooh I could go and do a few miles tonight. But it rained. And Paul hasn't put the wheels back on it yet anyway! So instead tonight I pottered a bit and then had a long bath watching Field of Dreams on here. The bit near the end where Terrance Mann does his "They will come Ray.." bit, I had tears streaming down my face. Apart from that fact that it is sad, I remember P and I were watching it at theirs the night E and I started going out. When she text me at 11 pm with that immortal text: "I don't want to be on my own tonight. Can I spend it with you?" And she did. And continued to do so nearly for the next 5 years. So the thought of that made me sad too. See this is one of those break-up things I can never fathom out. I mean when you have a happy shared experience or memory, what do you do with it when you split up? Its hard to keep it as a happy memory, because it always brings thoughts flooding back. And what used to be a "Ooh it was great when we..." suddenly becomes a "thinking about that only brings me pain now". Biggest example is USA 2006. Without doubt it was the trip of a lifetime, but looking at the pics is painful. The cliche is that time heals the/those wounds but then that takes the edge, the gloss of the things, it doesn't become a happy memory again, it just becomes something that happened in a previous life. In a way I thought watching it tonight would exorcise a ghost. Particularly after Saurday's succesful quiz I've felt quite strong, you know emotionally. I joked with J last week to not be surprised if she got one of my infamous texts late on Saturday, but she didn't coz I was fine. Talking of texts. Nothing from A today and I also e-mailed E at work but had no reply. As its half term I would imagine she has taken a few days off. Sad not to hear a thing from either of them for two days tho. And weirdly unusual. Unique in the past 5 years probably!