Lists all of the journal entries for the day.

Sat, 29 Aug 2009

10:59 AM - (no subject)

 

                SO ....pretty much everyone i know hates me. my ex. my parents. ppl at school. my friends. and even people i havent met in my life. isnt that just the best. sorry if im such a fuck up. you'll get over it. yeah, sorry to my ex, for "bad timing". sorry to my parents for wearing pants. seriously? so theres a hole in my fave pair of jeans....get over it. oh, and sorry fer the "bitchy behavior", i guess. might as well throw that one in there too. sorry to my friends for what ever the fuck i did to piss u off. and sorry to the ppl i havent met fer infuriating u fer some stupid ass reason. gunnar...havent talked to him since ash was here. guess hes pissed off to. dont even know what the fuck i did there. connor might as well be dead to the world...havent talked to him in ten centuries. yeah, sorry to sean that ur gf broke up wif you. not really my fault being as i had nothing do do with it. sorry im not coutney's mom. i didnt put so much "stress" on her. i dont even fucking know courtney. so ur still sad that "the only person u love" isnt dating u. sorry fer fucking up...again...by asking why ur sad. im fucking sorry. if some one dumps you, you get over it. you dont mope until they come back forever cuz chances are they wont. oh, did i mention, IM SORRY! seriously. i get it. you dont wanna talk. fine. i guess ill get over. yeah kinda like how i got over being abandoned but you know what? thats not important. fuck, shes all u ever talk about, when honestly i could care less.
 
                and this is why i believe love is just a figment of the imagination. ppl get so obsessed in something that doesnt exist. LOVE IS NOT REAL. if it was i doubt so many ppl would hate me. isnt it just ninja kool how i can do nothing and still have ppl mad at me? arent i just amazing?
                oh, and if anyone reading this is mad now that ive said all of his get in fucking line. fucking get over it cuz i could honestly care less who else wants to hate me. start a blog or some shit. it helps. thats why i do it. its whatever.
                balls i hate life.
 
                ha, and now i really know my parents hate me...i just walked through the kitchen on my way to the bathroom, and they got ninja quiet. oh-ho-ho, thats just grand.
 
-peyton.
 
i might as well not exist anymore.

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11:00 AM - (no subject)

 

            ok, so i just really fucking hate it when i know that someone is mad at me, and they dont have the nerve to admitt it. seriously? ok, if you say something that your questioning wheather or not you should've said to someone....they're mad at you. if you text them, and they only reply about every three messages....they're mad at you. and if they cuss at you for something stupid....they're mad at you.
            example. i was texting sean today. and i thought he didnt seem like his cherry self. so i said something i kinda regret, cuz i fucking know it rubbed him the wrong way. i made a mistake, ok? no one's fucking perfect. i'm fucking sorry.
            i know when people are mad at me, so why do they haf to deny it? so they dont hurt my feelings? all it does is piss me off. FUCK. ok...one....chances maybe 1 out of a million people "fall in love" when they're a teenager. if you think someone cares for you, even after they break up wif you due to "stress" then you are sadly mistaken. REAL love lasts NO MATTER WHAT. why dont people get this? and why does everyone waste their time holding on to this little strand of hope that the person they think they love is gonna be wif them forever? cuz chances are thats never gonna happen either. yeah, i've been hurt so when people are all depressed when they get dumped by the person they think they love i can understand why they're sad. but come on...if someone dumps you cuz their parents dont really like you, then whats the point of even caring? thats why i never tell my significant other that i love them. the only time i've ever said it was to someone i'll prolly never meet in my life, so there's less of a risk of "getting my heart broken". its so hard fer me to tell ppl i love them. even my parents. pretty sure the last time i said i love you to my day was after he took me to a concert in july.
            and if anyone gets mad at me fer saying anything i just said, then its whatever. be mad. but at least have the balls to tell me. i'm fucking tired of this love word. its fucking stupid. all it does is create this little lie to live in while in reality you honestly have no idea how hurt ur gonna be after its over. its just lie a fucking drug trip. sure it has its perks, but in the end, whats it even good for? absoultly nothing. all it does is piss me off. so tell me u love me..all im prolly gonna say is i kinda really like you a lot. love is fucking retarded. its a bigger lie than donald trumph's hair. and frankly i could care less about it. fuck it. i quit.
 
            OH.....and another thing.....if someone breaks up wif u...and u tell someone, but vaguly...dont get all pissed off when they try to cheer you up and are naive on what happened since u didnt really tell them shit besides u were dumped. its rather childish.
 
sorry if any of this makes you mad...but i was almost crying....i needed to blog.
 
peyton.
 
 
 

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