I don't really know what to do about this anymore. I've tried to convince them over and over to let me go but they keep saying no. I feel like this summer isn't going as planned. I want so much that I can't have right now. I'm not being greedy. But recently ive taught myself not to give up easily. Oliver graduated high school the other night. It was pretty sad, actually. I have so much on my mind but for some reason can't put it in to words. I just want everything to start getting better. I want dad to get this job. I want to lose weight. I want to go to summer school. I want my own room. I want to move. I want to have more independence and be able to do things for myself.

School's almost out. Studying for finals is a drag. I want to just go out in the world and have an amazing time with everything. My dad doesn't want me driving. So, my life pretty much sucks right now. I also have to lose this weight that I want gone so guys might actually like me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fat at all. I just wish my stomach was thinner than it is. I'm so incredibley self concious of everything. That needs to change. I need to change. I'm done with just having a boring stay at home life. Yes, i go on crazy adventures with all the friends i have. But I feel like i still dont do enough with my 16 year old life. There's a huuge party this Saturday. The type of party ive been wanting to go to for a long time. I want to go. But considering I can't drive, it might be tricky. Not to forget the fact that if my dad pulled me up to that house and saw all the people and the craziness, he'd never let me out. Maybe it's sad that I don't get to have the best times out with guys and girls like I want to. And maybe it's not. Yes, i know, i have so much time to do these things. But honestly, I dont want to waste my youth and sit at home while my high school life flies by me. My sister is still a bitch all the time. I seriously need my own room. I want to move SO bad. Not far, just to a different house. I need to make a change. And fast.