7:34 PM - an ending rage.
if im giving complete detail, then i just sighed in relief to be getting to my dear blog. thank god, im out of the car ride from hell. i dont know where to start i guess i started it by getting all defensive because she brought up taking Ecology next year, and here me out for all my life i have had a bigger, and breathing shadow. i swear she copyies me and somtimes im a little over harsh about it and a little out of my mind, but fuck anyone who isnt out of there mind is just inhumaine. i would be using much more cursing but i cooled off after i made my starving self a good dinner, well it helped me cool down a bit, i made some corn and had a nice cup of my vinella soy milk (i bet if ..jessica new i liked it she would too just has she became a vegitarian like myself had.) and i made the left overs from olive garden, i cant get along with my sister and i never will . i seriously hate her . i told her things in trust and she calls me a whore, in my defense im not because its my boyfriend ONLY my boyfriend i do stuff with and i dont get a new boyfriend every week. im not a whore, you know why do you think theres a diffrence in a boy friend and a guy friend? exactly. and i am a virgin. im not having sex hell i havent even given a blow job just because i have a boy friend and we can have steamy make out sessions makes me an averaGE teenager. Ok so that got out of proportion and i get pissed becuase of the way she trats my mom. shes a bitch and im not talking about your average bitch who PM's and goes all insane im talking About a cold hard bitch that doesnt understand how to be a nice person, like i cant explain how she does things but its total disrespect Jessica has to be incontroll of everything and everyone and when she loses, well she's not going to like that. my poor mom. anywways im not having the realationship with either one until she can be nice. and i can control myself half the time of her screaming i visioned myself getting out of the car when i arrived here.. were i live not really a home yet, but maybe someday when i completly am comfortable with my dad. he doesnt put up with her shit either and no one should. i dont understand how her mind works. Shes cruel and knwos weakness, she goes for the week spots, nmy mom is a recovering depresent and trying to be whole once more, and my sister targeted that she was a crazy lady who went into a hospital for it not once but twice, how she scared jeff away ( a good friend she got recently close to they broke up she was torn) she still isnt over him, thats just to far. i want to pucnh her in the face i want her to have a good slap. so hard that blood would ooze from her oily pours. i wont talk to her in school like shes my sister i will talk to her like shes another student here, that i just dont really know. if she approches me i might be on the verge of strangling her but insted ill probally say somthing like fuck off. and continue walking. sounds cruel but shes bad for me i cant have that kind of energy. and half the car ride she used a fake accent like the hole thing was some bad theater show from the like.. i dont know ninteen whatevers. Like this isnt a game, maybe to her but she seriosly hurts my moms. and i am to now that i wont have contact with either one, but bonnie has told me i need to do whats best for myself i was to nice in my life to were people took advantage of me, no im not mean and im nice to anyone who deseves it regardless on there cool scale. and i cant stand looking at her without disgust its been like that since i was little, i just think shes gross, and i hate that when i try to help like.. chew with your mouth closed please she now only does it because she knwos it sickens me. and thats why i left, thats why i live her because even though im not fond of my dad, i cant stand that thing. i cant take it, everything turned into a sudden relief when i moved out. and when im with her i forgotton how rotton she is. and i just wanna punch the shit out of her. she thinks shes so much better then the rest of the world. anyways i wont talk to her so that she cant copy me. she can change and look as i do. but she cant have the same veiws because im not sharing them with her.
i dont have a sister.