5:37 PM - closure
Today I finally got to cleaning. My rooms almost done, i just have to finish putting away clothes, but that means they have to finish being washed, and thats going to take a while. After my room though i have to move on to other areas of the town house that i have taken over. I just have too much shit, but thats not somthing to complain about. What i can complain about is space. I can not wait until we move, were hoping it will it happen before the next school year. Besides cleaning my room, I worked on that damn chair some. Now i am taking a break. I am so excited for summer. Im excited Since rose now lives in the complex next to mine, were probally going to hang out alot this summer, Then agin lately everything that i thought would happen never does. Only small things though, things that arn't important enough to remember. This weekend was good.
Friday Encore awards were pretty fun. Richard was there even though he isn't in theater, or does not do plays or anything like that.. but it didn't matter anyone was welcome to be there. My aunt came as well. Becky ofcorse. Vittoria Got best actress in her thing, Even if it is a popularity test, she still deserved it. I did not get one for my play, there were a lot of people in mine, But mai got it like i thought she would, hunter didnt get one either, but he really deserved it, in his one act, more then chad, hes the one who got it, and he only got it because hes more popular then hunter. Mai got hers for the same reason, i would have rathered anyone get it just because i knew mai was already going to get an award in the one act she was in other then mine, cause she deserved it in that one, she made that one act work, so for ours i just wished they gave someone else a chance. It was still fun, Everyone was all dressed up and it was cute .
Vittoria's sleep over after encore awards was fun. We should have sleepovers with them more often. Lisa and jessica are fun. We got in the hot tub agin and i felt bad for lisa cause her boyfriend just broke up with her, like that night when she called him. She was sad, but it was still alright. We were in the hot tub for almost 2 hours. We lost track of time. When we did get out, we went upstairs, well we had to be sneaky so no one woke up.. you do not want to wake up vittorias mom. Then we got lots of chips and stuff to take back down into to basement, We were gonna watch a chic flick but Lisa had never seen sweeney todd before, But she was in the play that my school did on it last year. So we watched it, and I dont even remeber moving into the other room to sleep but thats where i woke up. We finished the movie that morning and then eventually went home. My dad and coach bill.. would not leave me alone about the damn soccer tournement, they really dont take no for an answer, but i did it. I actually held out agin and this time it was worse, I felt bad, Bill was basically begging, it was kinda sad. I just dont want to be the reason they lost or somthing, im just nto up to it, and i feel like the'll do better without me. Even if he did want me to play, it doesnt matter, because its always possible that i might screw up and i dont want to be the reason they didnt go to champions. My dad just doesn't get that and it makes me mad. He doesnt understand, the pressure that i put on myself even if no one else really cares, its somthing i really can not help.
I had a sleep over at richards house with hunter and rose late Saturday, BEfore i went to richards i went to Hunters for a little. I dont know whats wrong with me, saturday i was Oldly attracted to hunter more then usually, and i felt like i liked him so much more then a friend. I knew i had a crush on me, but its like im starting to feel like that silly girl with a crush, and whenever I get anywhere near him, I'm disfunctional.. Like puddy or something, i guess now i can't make fun of those silly girls that go on and on because here i am. This one part at hunters, I had to slap him for some reason or another, because he wanted me too ;O or i don't even remember because i was much more focused on the fact that he was pretty much on top of me. Like He got closer so i moved away, and i ended up almost lying down, until i gave in because my head was heavy so it was uncomfortable, so i out that on the ground too, and then my neck was reveled and flat, un hidden from my hair, and i just imagined hunter to close the little space we had, and kiss my neck, and that would be it. Then he would just get up casually like it was just friendly, although we both new it was a little more then just that, and then i felt awkward for having such the imagination so i think i had an uncomfortable expression on my face in reaction, because then hunter apologized for being creepy (even though I wanted him to be soo much "creepier" ;P ) But i don't want that not yet, and Hunter gets so close to my face sometimes!!! Its so tempting, Even though I don't want that yet, I am not ready for a relationship, as much as i miss someone being there to call at night, and i miss feeling like someone is waiting for me to call, or just someone is there. Just there, but then there are things That i don't want yet, i dont want to feel like i am stuck or anything, i just want to know what i want. A silly thing to want for.. maybe..But i must be patient. When we Got to Richards, we went and caught some Fireflys. Their endangered though, so i did not want to catch any, we let them out later of corse, i would have made them if they did not. We went on a walk to Walmart to get some Candles so we could Draw a circle, and on the way me and rose did our little talking, I have missed rose.. but i really did not want to hear one thing she siad. She has decided on who she likes better, Richard or hunter, I was just thinking Please let it be Richard please please, and it was indeed hunter. Of corse it was. Its not like a battle or anything, if hunter liked rose i would Be more then happy for them to go out, i would put my emotions aside for another time. Its just I do not want to hurt rose, If me and hunter go out. Its like i would not want her to know, but i would feel so bad for keeping that from her, being so good of friends. I Don't know what to do, i'm not going to worry about it to much. Not until i really have to.
This site (justjournal.com) had been a really good blog site, but im changing sites after this. Being then end of the month, and the end of the school year. soo.. bye?