these are the best days of our lives

At last i got to use my usual shampoo again =) i missed it, probably more then i should have. My moms house had different stuff, and i ran out here. Reunited.

I was really hungry, i did not feel like eating, but i was getting shaky. I had a role at lunch today along with cheese sticks but apparently that was not enough to keep me satisfied until friday. So i made my yummy soup that i get. I dont know what its called, but it comes in a box , and all you do is pour it in a bowl and pop it in the microwave, its wonderful. Its also Vegitarian approved, and some of them are even Vegan. So their also super healthy, because its like super packed on nutrients. Although i will admit it doesnt look to appealing, I mean when it comes right out of the  box, it kind of resembles dog food, and yes that is gross. It doesn't really look that much better when it's ready, but it smells good, so its ok. 

I finished this book called "Need" today, it was ok. I got two books from the book store in atlee. It sucks because right now, both the library's are closed that are close by. The one library  which is in walking distance, ofcorse has to be the old library which is closing for good, because a new library is going to open. It looks wonderful! and it is right next to the school...however that doesn't compare since the old one was right down the street from me.  Then there is the school library but once the end of the year comes around, they stop letting you check out books. So the atlee library it was. 

Speaking of the end of the year.. its all feeling to routine, the feelings the emotions, the timing. What i mean is, year after year it always happens the same. The first day of school, were all curious and hopefull for who might be in whose class. Then its just the over all feeling of seeing everyone that your not close enough to, to see outside of school.. but your close enough to know that you miss them. Its all very exciting, but very agravating because once that week is over, your bored already of the new things of the new school year. At this time, even though your bored, your still content with how things are, because deep down, you know you did miss it. 

Then the middle of the year strikes. Now at this time, your getting a little fed up with seeing these people. Day after Day, and then your stressing because of grades, and being busy. School in general stresses people around this time. That and or, people are so tired of doing school work, so bored of doing everything the exact same every other day. So there tired, their frustrated and lose motovation. Thats when part to of the middle of the year happens! This is where it gets crazy. people walking down the halls are practically breathing fire. Everyones taken out the lazy, school stress act on eachother, because they can't take it, and the smallest thing will make you completly lose your mind! Madness, its madness!!! 

Then comes the resolution. to top it all off... to tie up those "lose ends" to come to a conclusion. people call down a little. After all the SOLs are over, so the end of the year is so close, you can almost smell it! you can smell it, because its summer. Then the vibe of the school changes, just like that. its not chaotic any more, but its calm, calm and excitement. to have both of those emotions at the same time is weird but it happens. Everyone, is feeling relieved, and ready for getting out. Then we think about everything that went down this year. Was it a good year? 

either way... its over now.  High school for the seniors is over. They wont be back next year. There faces wont be in the hallway, its sad. Friends, are going to start losing touch. Im afraid of that, Loseing touch with some of the people i have met. While there faces go, some more will come in, and so the cycle continues. For me, For my class, we are officially half way done. I am so mad at myself for wasting my freshman year. For doing nothing. For wasting the rest of my "youth". I am still youthful yes, but like i have been expressing myself all this year, i have gotten more mature. At lest i can say that i am proud of how this year went, i think i did everything i really could do, that i wanted to. Making up for last year isn't easy. I think i will take government over the summer, thats the plan any way, i need a history. I dont want to take two next year because i want to remain in theater. Next year i plan to get into ITS. I will have enough points by then. I think next year is going to be hard.. but i really have to do good if i want to get into college.. like every other slave to society. But i really think it will all be worth it. 

I just wish i knew what it was i want to do. What i can tolerate to do for the rest of me life.