these are the best days of our lives

 I stayed home from school today, i didn't feel good, as much as i wanted to go to ITS inductions, my want to not go to school was stronger, so here i am .  I got up at like 12.. and then for some reason i had the urge to watch Fullmetal Alchemist all day, so i did.. and i planned on working on my chair.. thats why i had to stop and take a break i got to episode 13 i think. I like it so far, but shouldnt that be obvious since i watched it all day ? 

Thinking of Anime, Im excited for AMA since i  gave rose money for my ticket so she can give it to the people were going with. I want vittoria to meet Ed. haha then she can see why i think he's so adorable. 

i just wanted to get some things straight, because i was thinking about the stuff i have posted about Vittoria before and from the begining of the year most of them were pretty mean, well not mean but harsh or something.  I love vittoria, I had my issues, but i only really would talk about the things that  bothered me, and they only bothered me because of bad timing and the fact that it was vittoria, and i hated myself for it, but with the time that had passed, i have missed  her lots, and i feel over what has been said, I mean i never wanted to talk bad about her because she was my best friend, it was just i had an impression that she did too, so from that point i exploded, every small thing, even if it didnt matter or didnt make any sense because at the time, like most things it made sense then, and because i was raged. SO for the record, vittorias not some horrible person, infact shes my favorite person alive right now, and has been for a very long time, regardless of everything i have said. I think alot of it, went back to 8th grade because i was so jealous of her, But not because she was who she was, but because i felt like no one cared who i was other then "vittoria's best friend" i went where vittoria did, and when i went out with omar, He always liked her so much more, and he was the one person who i wanted to like me. Probally because he was my boyfriend, but as he so obviously wanted to be with vittoria, he was with me, and what else was i to think other then, he was only with me because i was the closest thing he could have to vittoria, or so thats how i felt, and i just blamed vittoria because i was so sure that it was her fault that omar liked her, like she was flirting with him all the time or something, but that was just me, yes she flirts but thats her personality, it was how she treated everyone. I still knew that only Omar was responsible for the way he felt, i just wished it wasn't like that, i was not mad at all by our break up but believed because i was so confused, he siad he loved me, and that might have been but i still did not understand why he loved me so much when he so clearly had a thing for vittoria, the way he would just look at her, but i always promised myself it was just me, being a jealous girlfriend...which was funny because i dont get jealous easily. So though this is all very well in the past I just found it going through my head, as an explination for alot of my anger twords vittoria, which is so far away from me now.  

"Il make it easy. I will call  child services for you. What time is good for you to meet with them ? I told Michelle That you Dont want to pay for anything this weekend, So she needs to Stay with me. When Am i getting Half for Jess braces back Since you say i dont pay for her ?" 

I got that in a text message just now from my mom.  I'm confused as to why she sent it, im not sure what it is, but i think its a message to her from my dad ?  Who knows, right now there lastest arguent is about custody, they were trying this every other weekend thing, but that Didnt really work since every other weekend would be unconvienent for my mom, and then she finally realized that im always gone on weekends. and when im not she is. So that did not go to well, Now there pulling this im not gonna pay for jessica then because you dont want to pay for michelle when she comes, i know where that came from. Jessica, every time i go down there, like if they go to fast food and im in the car.. Jessica will tell me i can not have anything unless i pay.. and im like.. shes my mom to, and you are not my mom, if she doesn't want to pay for me then fine but you don't need to tell me. So i am sure jessica has been ranting on about how dad doesn't pay for her, however can you blame him, she never goes to see him so how would he by her food if she doesn't ever visit? Not that that is true either, because for the first time in a long time she came here while i was over there, i was mad when i got back because she had unplugged my computer speakers, i am not sure why, but she should have left every thing how she found it, i really do not like it when people get in my space, like i feel like there finding out about me, when i don't want them too, like my room is some sort of Display journal, and i dont like it, this is my space. And Now my mom just told me that my dad says were moving back in? I don't know, i think i would actually like it alot, because then my mom and dad could try and be happy agian, and i would see jason alot more, i forgot how much i missed him. They wouldnt have to fight about who see's who when, and it would just be nice. However at the same time it would not be, My freshman year was so fucked up, because Of how everything was, and i hate jessica, so much because she has no sense, She thinks she does, she really believes it too, but in all honesty she doesnt, not even close.  I miss the space, i hate the noise. I miss my brother, I hate jessica. 

My dad says he didnt say that, were moving back in, he said somthing else, like "oh well i bet you would love for me and michelle to move back in and somthing about money or blah blah "  So great now my moms gonna get her hopes up for nothing, actually i think she's in one of her moods agian, I can always tell when she's texting me, or sending me things my dad says, exactly, trying to get my involved in a place where i do not belong.  now that i have wasted my time on those thoughts.. i also have another "for the record" kind of thing  

Is about the reason i am a vegitarien, i do not think Meat is wrong in any way, its like a food chain, people eat animals, its just how things are, as a lion eats its prey. I just think some of the ways we put animals down is wrong, but that still doesnt mess with what i eat. i dont eat meat simply for the reason a .... Bunny wouldn't. It Isn't for me,Its my choice of diet, my interest, i dont like thinking about what i am eating, when it comes to meat, or how easy u have it, how i got this just because i bought it, or something. Anyways thats all.