these are the best days of our lives

i guess latly i have been thinking alot. Thinking alot about getting stuck in this boring system becoming routine like a already have. I mean when i change classes at school i just feel so out of control, and so mechanical that it makes me sad. i dont want to be some machine that just does whatever is told. Does whatever has to be done, and i'm not the only one. But we just cant let ourselves caught up on this fear itself because it wont do anything but bring it closer.. we just gota do whatever we want and do whats under out lil power right now. Just remeber who we are, because latly it seems i have almost forgotten.

Then theres sam. Sam who has found a new interest with trying different drugs and stuff, hes wanted to do acid for a year now, i didnt mind really at first but now its worse, and i do feel that hes drifting. i mean we cant even hang out that often because were both busy, being with different crowds.  but i have invited him to hang out were ever i'm going.. but he doesnt want to feel awcward so i guess thats ok. I still love sam and all. He's sweet. but im worried. i watched my brother and i dont want to be with sam if hes going to change to, i dont want to be a witness to it. but im not going to tell him hes not aloud or somthing because i dont want to. i want him to do what he wants, but to just be careful. and im happy to hear that he likes this girl named christina a little. i mean im not but i am. im glad that he does because i dont know whats happeening and stuff right now. i'll have to get back to you on that explanation. and then im not happy well for the obvious so its pretty even, well sam is picking me up early this morning so i have to get ready .