11:34 PM - dreaming a lot lately
Last night I slept good. I didn't feel asleep, but i new i didn't want to wake up .
It started in a room with nothing and then slowly i could see everything a little clearer and i could make out faces, i could make out shapes. There was a couch, and there was sam. He ignored the couch and sat on the floor in front of it. He just sat there, and i finally gave into myself. I caved. I went over to where he was looking all torn and then aginst every last bit of will power i had.. i reached out to him. I knew that if i did, i would probably make everything worse, but for some reason i couldn't hold out any more. When i knew that it would all just result in a bad confusing mess. But i still reached and then i sat down next to him, and he either pulled me closer, or he moved i'm not sure but it went from a simple gesture, to hugging close, and then kissing. This was painful, not because i was kissing him. IT was painful because this was in no way fair to him, he (in my dream) was getting somthing out of that kiss that i knew i was not, but i didnt stop because i liked kissing. It hurt because i was being so wrong. And i couldn't stand seeing myself so selfish, thats when i woke up.
Hunter and tiffany where there, but only in mist. they moved farther away from one end of my room to the other were the dissolved through the wall... not cool. I wanted to be with them, i wanted to understand where they had gone, so i got up and tried to do what they did.. how ridiculous? It worked and then just like that, i was not in my room, i wasn't even on the same planet as i once was, or maybe i was just seeing it a new way, and i was in the exact same place. As if it made a difference. I was in aw. IT was like discovering that the world of fairies and trolls existed, however instead of sparkles it was pale, and grey, perhaps it was just night time. There he was, a little man? He looked like something you would find in the shadow of a fairy tale, and i am not sure there's any other way i could describe him. He was not my friend, and he was dusty, like the rest of this world. Why had they picked here of all places to lead me? I battled the stupid thing, but nothing phased it, instincts told me not to let it get a hold of me. I knew i would explode if it touched me. To my rescue hunter and tiffany appeared, and they were well dressed, i felt so out of place. They told me to grab the dust that flew from him, when i hit him. I did. They motioned for me to throw it on my face, without questioning them i did. and then the little man, stopped and pouted back to his corner. They didn't waste time for small talk, and i could tell this was not the time nor place, so i ran with them until they got to where they were going, and it was like there little hide out, it wasn't a home, because it wasn't cozy, just a hide out. They loaded some weapons, and showed me around, and thats when i woke up. that time i really woke up.