these are the best days of our lives

so this weekend im still excited for but i really loged on to tell you about my trip with sam and his family, i forgot how much i missed sam. i knew i missed him but it didnt occor to me how much. once we got to his grandmas, we went and watched t.v liek usually and stuff we cuddled comfortably, and had a make-out session from here to there, it wasnt like steamy oh baby, it was like.. i missed you, i love you kind of kissing like, a sweet make out. if that makes any sense im not sure, although one time was kinda hot cause i like get turned on when im like arched because i have to be like because of the way im being held. yes ima freek. also when like his hands are around my hip bone, and then if im wearing a square neck line, then i like when his hands play with my neck, and go around my open skin wow that sounds odd, but its not i swear im a teenager, i cant help it.! omg thats a horrible excuse.

yep but anyways.. it wasnt the fact that sam could move his arms around me, or the fact that he could kiss my intimatly, its that i know he likes me. we can joke around, be upfront completly, more honest then i want to be this kid tells me when hes gotta go poop. haha. he siad i love you so many times today and its not because he wants anything, i mean sure he wouldnrt mind but what boy wouldnt. I WOULDNT. heh anyways. .. he also always stares at me when im not looking., somtimes he does it because he  knows i cant handle it haha but he does it when im not looking ( but i really am ) , and its that he looks at me, when he talks he looks at me when i talk, but he looks at me with this expression that i cant explain but its when somone really likes someone else, like they care about them. i remeber because i could see it on omar, when he would look at vittoria, when we were still together.. he doesnt know. but thats what ruined our relationship. i saw that before we  had issues, and i knew. i knew he liked her more then anything and i couldnt handle it so i played it cold until he realized it himself that sounds stupid but , im serious. it hurt me alot, because my best friend would flirt with my boyfriend.. but i believe that people cant help the way they feel. i wasnt ever completly comfortable with omar either. i dont want it to seem like im comparing sam to omar, no i dont compare im just saying, i know the look. i can see it. anyways i had un with sam. i missed his warmth. then i went out to eat with his family, and we went to this play thing i had alot of fun. i hope im with sam long enough so that we both drive, i'd liek to go on an actual date with him, like the kind in the movies. not where your parents shofer you around ahah . im optimistic for the future, im excited for it but im not living in it. i want to give sam a bj. im ready for that, and i dont like this innocense that is with me because i havents done that . me and sam have been together for like 8 maybe 9 months if i had the choice now i'd marry this kid in a heart beat but i know this is high school. .. this is part of where people find out who they are, and that means they will change here. i dont think i want to have sex with anyone this year.. maybe i dont know, its just i think it should be special it shouldnt be like.. this thing people do when their bored.. i guess people do for pleasure.. but i dont think its worth the risk of getting pregnant. i dont even know what i would do. i think i would pull it off like Juno. i have the courage to face the student body because.. the judgemental kids.. dont mess with me . i think my boobs are bigger. sam touched my boobies he siad that and i had been thinking the previous days they were but you know i was like.. wtvr but since sam siad somthing  haha .  sam wanst the only one i missed, i missed vittoria and kelsey i miss hanging out with them on busy weekends. last night vittoria was back onlong at like 1! she isnt sopposed to be on at that time. i talked to her for like 2 hours i didnt get much sleep since i went in school early for make up math quizzes.  We also got interums today i did ok, i got all A's and B's but i gor two C's one C is easily pulled up the other one.. is like that because the class is so hard. Algerbra 2. hate it hate it hate it. i dont know what to get sam or vittoria for christmas. ughhhh this calls for a trip to good will i could alter somthing from good will. but im a greedy kid and i would want it .. haha naah i could do it. sam should have somthing special. i think i will give him  a bj,  with somthing else thats special haha bj arnt special there just nice for them i am nervous though cause.. yep but i already told him that the first time i have penis to mouth action he better stop me before he explodes, cause i dont want to swollow my first time. i told him i would eventually though.

i really need to sleep even though i feel like i'm not telling everything .. well theres always tomamrow.