10:05 PM - there's only so much happiness one can give.
wow. talk about stress. so all day started with your average high school drama, i was syched about try outs , well more like stressing, but im glad its over with.. i think i did ok, my monolougue was a little demented it was about this girl (me ) who worked at the dentist and i have just discovered that bringing people pain and ripping out their teeth is a great stress reliever. it had a cute ending though, anyways that was my very first theater audition so woo, its for one acts and i think i did decent i think it could have been better though. but jayson my neighbor was on of the one act directors cool i knwo, he laughed at my speech so i think he liked it ? i hope so.. i want me and jayson to be like bff's, we have known each other a long time.. i dont know its cool that were neighbors i dont liek him or anything i like sam.. i cant talk to sam and sam is my best friend. anyways.. this also happened today but im lazy.. so you can figure it out through diologue .
SkyInTheCloud007: my mommys sad agiann
SkyInTheCloud007: super sad
SkyInTheCloud007: =(
SkyInTheCloud007: the last thirty minuetes have been michelle's deep pep talkin
ihatyuosmae: aw
ihatyuosmae: whys she sad?
SkyInTheCloud007: shes "stupid"
SkyInTheCloud007: like shes got a bunch of issues, and she thinks shes stupid for her mistakes cause their pretty big ones
SkyInTheCloud007: but yeaah
ihatyuosmae: like what?
SkyInTheCloud007: well.. massive debt wich is really bad but when we sell the house most of it can go away, and my dads trying to help with it, then theres jeff she let him kinda use her.. and then she blames herself for jasons drug issues, and then jessica cause shes just messed up and im guessing shes sad that i live here i think shes suicidal right now, its scary but im not sure shes just saying how shes tired and she doesnt want to do it any more im not sure about any other issues but i think theres more then i know
SkyInTheCloud007: cause she siad there was, but i didnt go down the list of her mistakes to her or anything
ihatyuosmae: ughh
ihatyuosmae: she should
ihatyuosmae: seek help
ihatyuosmae: why dont you spend a couple weeks at your moms
ihatyuosmae: and cheer her up
SkyInTheCloud007: ugh well i will next week, like my sister and brother like,.. vebaly abuse her like
SkyInTheCloud007: when i was there somtimes my sister always
SkyInTheCloud007: brings up jeff.
SkyInTheCloud007: and then she goes to school and complains that shes deppresed and takes no care of her.
SkyInTheCloud007: and shes old enough to take responsibility for herself.
SkyInTheCloud007: like.. shes such a bitch and my mom is still nice to her, you know but she shouldnt be
ihatyuosmae: why is she so mean to her o.O
SkyInTheCloud007: jessica goes ands all she wont give me lunch money but then after yelling at her today.. she made my mom go to buy her stuff for some project we have enough junk im sure she could have improvised.
SkyInTheCloud007: but she should take responesibility for herself.
SkyInTheCloud007: because shes a bitch
SkyInTheCloud007: .
SkyInTheCloud007: like not normal.
SkyInTheCloud007: she has no respect for anyone . and when she needs somthing shes muh-nip-u-la-tive
SkyInTheCloud007: shes always been like that, or she throws tantrums .
SkyInTheCloud007: im not even kidding
ihatyuosmae: jesuss
ihatyuosmae: >.>
SkyInTheCloud007: if i go their next week, shes probally going to get punched in the face. and like i mean that >:O
ihatyuosmae: HAHAHA
SkyInTheCloud007: hah sorry for going all vent crazy but i cant stand how rude she is.
SkyInTheCloud007: even if my moms a little woo crazy .. its just because shes having self esteem issues.. and she shouldnt use it aginst her.
SkyInTheCloud007: i hope my mom gets home safe she wasnt sounding like she would but i made her promise i tried to hold heerr hostige but .. it didnt last long
ihatyuosmae: like she was gonna kill herself going home?
SkyInTheCloud007: no but she was just sayign how she was sick of everthing and she didnt want to do it any more and stuff like that
ihatyuosmae: ohh
ihatyuosmae: =(
ihatyuosmae: welll tell her i said hey next time you go there
ihatyuosmae: give her a hug for me xD
SkyInTheCloud007: haha ok
obviously ihatyuosmae is sam. Oh his sn.. isnt like deprresive or anything, ha its cause omar and hunters conflict was all big and omar was all pissed at sam too but when he typed i hate you sam. it was all messed up from typos.. so yep nothing much to it.
anyways, i know my lifes not sucky.. but its not a walk in the park.. and i kinda always thought that all families where as screwy as mine. but there not. They are not. you know? Kelsey her family.. is actually a family. i didnt know their were actual "families" i though it was all movies and the typical veiw of how a house hold should be, but not how they actually are. but i have seen it. and now i can believe it.
Note to self: .. mistakes dont make you stupid. men dont make you happy, and people arn't dependable for your happiness. Like i siad. i am here and im makign my mark day by day im coming, and im not sure if the worlds ready for my but i have plans and im going to go places. i dont ever want to leave my dreams in my child hood. dreaming isnt for children, its for anyone with sense. We shouldnt push people out of the way.. but bring them with us. im not a preacher. im not even all that religous but my veiws matter, they might not be "godly" and they might not be "proper" but their mine. and .. in order to be happy we have to get by doing what we enjoy and if not.. i think just be being a good person.. will make me a better happier person. im not sure if its will make sense when im dwelling over this.. but it makes sense now. Hell im not even sure where it is im headed.. but i do have a feeling, and its not bad.
music: Jminus