So I'm not sure what to think. Craig has taken off with Alicia and I can't lie, it kinda irritates me. I don't think they'd ever do anything but still, I dunno. I know I wouldn't have the freedom to take off with somebody's dude like that while he was at work. It bugs me. He just found an excuse to go out and about. I feel like he was waiting for the oppurtunity to go out without me. Plus he only has Jr. Mia and Alohi are at a babysitter. It's not fair. I have to sit at work and he's off calivanting. But yet when I want to go to the library cause that's what I get joy out of, he doesn't want to go. I gotta stop talking about this cause I'm getting myself worked up.

I'm confused. I can't decide if I still love Matt. I don't know. I'm so lost. I think about him all the freaking time but it's not even thinking about being with him, I just miss laughing and hanging out with him. I love my husband with all my heart but part of me is still...curious. I wonder how he thinks of me and he still cares about me. I think that's what gets me the most. I wonder what he feels and thinks when he sees me now. I wonder if he misses being with me, late night kicking back. I wonder if he misses his daughter...