Shhhh

Welcome to my life of a teenage soap opera... One day I'm in love the next I'm out. I have girl fights and hate my fashion design school. I'm one year before not being a teenager so maybe with in around ummm 5 months I will learn how to grow up. Well about me, I grew up in a simple town of no one, just a normal town with their little football games and farms. I was a big dream coming from the big NYC to this... I wanted to be a fashion designer like my aunt. I wanted to MAKE IT. So after my graduation my parents shipped me off to paris (yes paris, france) to go to a nice known school. But at that time I didn't want to go. I had met the love of my life. I remember it clear to this day it was around 3 weeks before sophmore year. He was there, older then me i think he was 21? or just turned... His name was john (i did change the name). From that day of meeting him at my girlfriends going to be boyfriends house. I was inlove, I wanted him like no one else. I dreamed of him at night and even sick little me stole his hoodie for fun to smell when i sleep. He kept me thinking, he kept me good through my horrible teenage years. We then started to "go out" or if you want to call it that. Around the summer before my junior year. But before that we saw each other everyday. I was infatuated. All I wanted was him, to see his beautiful sea blue eyes to feel his long blonde hair. Why did I love him? He was beautiful to me as wel the way he talked was a man but a smile of a boy. They said to me he only laughed and smiled when you were around but now that your gone we dont see him. (maybe in another entry I will add more about the past and our events) Now, he is gone.. he put that bullet through his head. and he is gone. I thought he loved me. I thought he told me that we will be together for ever and ever..... maybe he did love me... now i will never know....