Fri, 28 Mar 2008

12:22 AM - The Dilemma

Im stuck in a bad place.. I have no money in my pocket, I cant pay my bills, I just keep getting sicker and sicker here in NYC, and last week I was working almost everyday things were looking up, this week I spent most of money on Dr bills or traveling to find an apartment in the city and I havent really gotten any castings it is freaking me out- I have no way of paying off my bills or to pay for an apartment- I promised my friend that I would find a place with her for a year in Manhattan, but before I get trapped here I feel like everything inside of me is saying GO TO LA. .. but if I do that I am going to loose this close friend in NY who I would have moved in with, and there is no guarantee there will be work for me in LA- I want to go with a job waiting and place to live and enough money to support myself and I feel like I may never get there- what can I possibly do to get the money to make it there? Im super creative Im just soooo depressed that none of the options I have tried have fleshed their way out or worked - I have tried;

School - I got a degree, was working my way up the ladder at Miramax until a fellow employee started hitting on me and using his power to get me higher up the ranks just so I could work with him. So I left that and went into

Modeling- made some money there but it is toooo sparadic and generates enough to pay some bills/travel/food expenses- so I tried-

Acting- which gives me joy but until Im in the right place at the right time or start doing bigger projects I feel like im running out of time to really explore it as a career- I would love to Act and then get a name for myself and turn that into

Producing/editing- production company which I have started to do freelance editing and producing but the projects take forever to go anywhere and that is not helping my immediate cash situation it is just putting more stress and making me unhealthy.
So I started contacting every-

Catering-company in the city, but the jobs are few and far between or people never got back to me. Or I spend the little money I do make on catering supplies and clothes.

What is left to do? I have even started creating my own work and possibly start writing some scripts but how I would I get them in the right hands so that I could make money off of them? I could write a book and market it I suppose really well and have someone by the rights to make it into a movie- that would work but again time...

See the dilemma? A hole with every option of digging out exhausted.

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