heather's journal

so i haven't seen him since tuesday
which sucks
but i'm prettyyyy sure i'll see him tomorrow
i'm making it a point of my day
cause me and alli are going out there.

but what sucks is
tomorrow is gonna be his last day working out there
and i don't know how much i'll see him now
which sucks haaaaard.

and not just because of the whole "i'm crazy about him" thing
but because we are friends.

pretty much every time i see him
every time he says something about another girl for obvious reasons
every time he says something along the lines of what he said last time
or what he said at the bar
because when he says things like that
it makes me feel like he wants more, but doesn't want me to hurt him
it breaks my heart
and i look forward to that.

he left jess a comment involving me
nothing big
but still.

i want them to talk about me
i want them to talk about the idea she has
i want him to tell her how he really feels
i want it to be the same as how i feel about him
i want her to tell me
i want her to "convince" me about him
and i want her to tell him to go for it.

i just want all of this to be over
one way or another
but i want to spare myself any more heart break.