and thats how it feels to lose what you never had.

"its okay.. i kinda have my eye on someone else... he might be out of my league to.. but hes a secret.. and i know you wont steal him.. muhaha."

we were having one of our "arguements" about david cook
and i know she's talking about him.

it's amazing how i went from sooo happy the other night because of him
to completely depressed tonight because of how she feels about him.

this is probably the worst feeling in the world
to basically lose something you never had in the first place
or it feels like i lost him
they're not together
he hasn't even said he likes her
but still.

i've even been praying
i haven't prayed for something so hard in my life
i've never wanted anything so bad in my life.

it's like i feel guilty because of how i feel
which is unfair to me
i've liked him for soooooooo long
i just haaaaate this feeling.