i feel like december.

so, yesterday.
was fun.

jess and i were out there.
just hanging out, talking.
and talking to him.
they get along amazingly.
which, for some reason, makes me happy.
we just sat around talking and laughing.
jess apparently wants him to hang out with us more.

and there was touching.
right before we left.
jess and i were going to decatur.
and he and lyle were going to decatur.
we thought we were getting ready to leave and he walked past us.
he touched both of our arms and told us to have fun.
and then when we were all actually leaving.
he was walking to the right of me, behind me a little.
and he put his hand on my back the entire time we were walking out.

and i was thinking about that.
my mom asked me earlier if he told me what carol said.
and he didn't.
apparently, she told him that he and i would make a cute couple.
and mom doesn't know what he said because he was walking out of the room.
but still, someone finally said it to him.
the touching took place after she told him that.
and because i'm wayyy overanalytical.
that makes this whole thing that much more confusing.

this is starting to feel like last december again.
back when we were getting real close.
and then we went out that one time.
but then we didn't talk for literally almost six months.

i'm so sick of being confused about it.
i'm so tired of not knowing.
and i'm tired of wishing.
it's about time i knew.
and it's about time he knew.

i just don't have it in me.