heather's journal

well, tonight was...interesting
to say the least.

everyone from sophies went up to the bar
and mom thought i should go too
so i did.

so, we're sitting there
and first of all
he decides he and i need like, a million pictures together
whatever
then we're sitting there, and he has arm around me [like he did the majority of the night]
and he asked me why i didn't have a boyfriend
i just looked at him and said "i live in assumption"
and he goes, i completely understand that.

then a while later
while we were standing outside, he was saying how i have a great personality the way i am, but i should loosen up
and then when we went back inside
[my mom listening the entire time]
and he starts telling me that i could have any guy i wanted
he says "you are a very pretty girl, seriously, you are very pretty, and you're really smart, if you just loosen up a little, you'll just have guys, fuckin'..."
[which is where he trailed off]
and my mom goes "uh uh, momma has to screen them"
and he says "momma, listen, she's smart, any guy that she decides to date is gonna be a good guy"
he told me i should let everyone see me like he did tonight
and he almost slipped and told my mom about the incident back in january, thank god he stopped before.

we did have fun tonight
and now jess has this genius idea
i know what it is without her even saying
but secretly, i wouldnt be opposed
everyone thinks he and i should date
Everyone
and now, with all the pictures, i'm sure people will think we are

but the things he said tonight...
like, those were things i was hoping he'd tell me tonight
and he did
i know he thinks i just want to be friends
but god...
and it gave me hope
which is probably not a good thing
why does he have to know all the right things to say?