I realized the other day that I think I'd be okay with dating again, if I knew how to meet people. It just sort of hit me, but I miss that feeling of excitement. I'm not really known for getting a second date while casually dating, but the initial "ohmygod I have a date" feeling is pretty awesome. Though, if I'm being honest, I'd rather just find someone to hang out with. No expectations, no pressure, and if it turned into something more then great. If not, at least I'd have a new friend to occupy me and spend time with. The latter is probably the better idea, but the therapist says I should do some dating to re-boost my self-esteem. We'll see how it all plays out. Like I said, I don't know how to meet people, anyway. That's what happens when your whole life is spent behind a computer screen. I lack the proper "people skills" to just strike up conversation in person, unless required to by my job.

 

Then the insecure, neurotic depression sets in and I think why the hell would anyone want to hang out with me, anyway? I'm a mess. I'm on medications, I'm in therapy, I'm jobless, I'm 24 and I still live with my parents... None of that really screams "I'm ready for a relationship" or even ready to date. How would I bring them back home? I couldn't. Can you imagine how akward that would be. So these are my parents, this is my sister, and this is her husband. You guys, meet so-and-so. Yeah, that wouldn't be weird at all. Ugh. I should really just stop thinking about it, stop analyzing it, and stop obsessing. Easier said than done, but I'm going to try.

 

The house is still in disarray from the move. My room is the only room that's done [minus a bedframe that I'm trying to push to get up here today if at all possible]. And hopefully the living room will at least get done so that we can put up our tree and decorations. If it's not up by my birthday on Tuesday, it's not going to feel right. So we'll see. I'd also really like to be able to see Heather while she's in NC. I miss her tons and it's rare that she's ever in my neck of the woods, so I want to try and make it happen somehow! I do have some upcoming visits from Brittany [Tuesday], Brittaninininini [probably February], and Jes [maybe after Christmas]. And hopefully a trip to see Jen while they're visiting family in the state, as well. So lots of potentials to look forward to. It's always nice having something to look forward to.