HAHA! Made you look didn't I? I know...
That was mighty evil of me, but I am indeed mad and need to let
out some steam.
WARNINGS: This will have a very
squirrely temper tantrum. Tons of cursing and disturbing demonic
beastial homosexual imagery. Don't read if sensitive.
This neighbor of mine... Oh good GAWD,
do I want to kill this motherfucker or what! Finally after so
many terrible months of having to wake up at 5a.m. in the morning
to go to school, take my kid to her own school and deal daily
with stupid people with issues over the studidest things (some
moron beat up his wife for forgetting to put a napkin around his
beer can... Why do I always get the buttfucking crazy bastards?)
this brainless inbred fuckass has to piss me off some
more.
Do you know what it's like to go to
sleep with a smile on your face because you don't have to do shit
the next day only to have 'Mr. White-trash from trailer park'
doing mechanical work at 3am in the fucking morning?! (I'm so
happy I saw his stupid ass chicken getting mawled in my front
porch by a rabid dog)
I just kept hearing a bunch of
hammering and metal falling heavily on concrete. I tried to stay
cool about it and ignored it... Until the sonovabitch turned the
radio on full blast.
Let me just start by saying that this
worthless fuckhole has an 'open garage'. It means there's no
doors or walls to the thing. Just four columns with a roof and I
happen to live next to him while he's singing along with his
bullshit mountain music and hammering the shit out of the bowels
of his already thoroughly caput junked ass truck at 3
o-fucking-CLOCK in the morning.
Okay... I get pissed. FINALLY! I've had
enough of his nonsense!
So I start making some music of my own.
I felt really wonderful doing this by the way...
I grabbed a huge pot and a metal spoon
and started drumming as loudly and off-tune as I could while
singing some really horrible racist song I'd made up in my crazy
little noggin' at the last minute.
"Mista' trassssh collector singin' at 3
am thinks he's protected when one day we're gonna' chop his
stupid head off and shove it up his cracka' ass so he'd quit
pissin' us off!"
"And his cock-suckin' chickens will die
wit' him fo' sho'!"
"Mindy's dead because ya' are a
jerkyass mutha-fucka' that likes chicken vajayjay! And Satan will
enjoy poudin' yer' shithole in hell!"
(yes. I was laughing like a maniac
while I did this. I mean... Who wouldn't LAUGH singing that?! And
before I forget, Mindy is the name of his dead chicken. I'M NOT
KIDDING! The chicken that got killed at my house was named
MINDY!)
He quit his hillbilly crap and guess
what he did next...
He CALLED THE COPS ON ME FOR
THREATENING TO KILL HIM!
Eventually the cops understood where I
was coming from and they told him that it was considered to be
disturbing the peace to be doing what he was doing so late at
night and that also, make-shift mechanical garages is prohibited
due to the neighborhood disturbance factor.
He threatened to sue me, but I got my
lawyer to chill him out.
One of my neighbors is already starting
a petition to get this guy out of our neighborhood. He's gotta'
be the most inconsiderate, ignorant, and loud asshole to ever set
foot in the quiet little hood of Villa Sauri.
I honestly wanted to kill him! Ever
since he had moved in and that bitch of an oldfart girlfriend of
his started honking horns at 5 in the morning to take him to
work, ever since his bitchass chickens started to shit around my
house and ever since he threw a temper tantrum because one of his
said chickens (Mindy) got torn to shreds by a stray dog in MY
porch while I did nothing, I've wanted to murder him! (what did
he expect me to fucking do? Get myself killed with that big ass
dog for a chicken that all she'd ever done for me 'pog!' under my
windowsill every fucking hour and CRAPPED all over my
place?!)
No, I'm going to sue HIM.
I know I behave unusually immature for
my age and I don't give a fuck. In fact, I am laughing about this
shit right now because I have a tendency to look back at the dumb
stuff I do to just laugh at it and think: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG
WITH ME?!
Yes... Things like this make life more
entertaining. The wonders never cease. *sighs*
PS: Why the hell are there so many
medical companies using justjournal as their websites? Everytime
you see the entry blog there's a bunch of shit talking about boob
implants and alzeimers (sp?). What the fuck is up with that shit?
That's advertising, not journaling! It's... Does anybody even use
justjournal for journaling anymore?
Also... I hate hamsters! I've just
gotten bit by one! AHHHH!