dealing with life

Today i felt like a failure, I have so much depression in me and i feel like i don't belong here in this world and that i don't want to be in this world. I can't finish school, can't keep a job, having trouble paying bills, and my bf who doesn't really want to be with me even though he says he does but i know he does not is painful. My whole life i have put everyone first before me and i have given everyone what i could but i feel like if nobody wants to be with and cares about me. I have been in so much depression since i was small i feel like my mom never really like cared about me and i was quiet and shy until i got tired and now i get upset easily and i don't like the way i become i hate my self because everyone in life had made fun of me like my sister,bf and it hurts so much. I try to lose weight but its so hard. My education is a failure i started off so good but i keep faling and i know i can do it but i just don't do it every semester. I feel like a failure i need help with guidence......