(no subject)

My school counselor just gave me some interesting information about what I can do with all my stuff at David's. I'm really afraid that he will be really mean about it and try to hurt me or my stuff. I really do love him, it's just time for me to move along and do my own thing I think. I'm still torn about whether to go to Florida or California. I'm really afraid that no matter where I pick I'll be miserable just like I am here.

But who knows.

Some kid next to me just said hi to me, so I said hi back and he told me "That's the first time I've ever heard you talk." then he proceeded to ask me why I never talk and I just replied "I just don't have anything to say." Which is a lie. But he'll never know that.

I start work at Burger King today. I'm not really sure what to expect. I kind of feel bad for lying to my manager. He has no idea I don't plan on working there very long at all. I just hope I can get enough money up to help my mom with all of her expenses. I can't imagine what it's like to have a kid and have to take care of them and stuff. I really don't think I ever want kids. I don't think I'll ever get married either. Not until I can find a guy who genuinely wants to understand me. I can hardly understand me.

I'm just glad I know there is a reason why I'm "quiet". Even though in my head I talk all day long. I really want to quit smoking cigarettes but I doubt that will ever happen.

I wonder why now that I'm older I feel more and more compelled to write things down. I feel that things have a more significant meaning. Things that only matter to me. Like they were made for me. I should stop thinking I'm "special" though, there's probably millions of teenagers just like me.

Poor them.