(no subject)

Whenever I feel sad, I write. I feel like it's my own
little therapy session. But  I don't get judged. I don't feel
scrutinized under the eyes of a therapist who probably has more
problems than me. I get the fact that some people do get help from
therapy but I personally feel like it's one more person to look
down on you. Me, being the paranoid fuck that I am, feel as if the
therapist thinks bad thoughts about you in their head. And in my
opinion, everybody has their own issues. It makes me feel guilty
just having someone listen to me rant for hours and they can't rant
back, even though they get paid to do so. Going to a therapist
makes me think of being in a nail salon. All those little chinese
people talk a different language and I feel like they sit there and
say to each other "this one has dirty nails" or "ohh look at her
oddly shaped feet". I guess that's an insecurity of mine, but
either way I don't like knowing people can talk or think thoughts
about me without me knowing what their saying. Thank god for
writing.