Uncertainty

2010-11-23T22:37:00.000Z

I am sitting here at a crossroads in my life. I am filled with so much uncertainty that I feel panic stricken at times. I absolutely hate my job and plan on quitting it but I have no new job to fall back on. I am terrified to take this leap of faith. I know that I can't go back to my old job because it made me a miserable human being that hated life. Since I have taken my leave of absence, I feel a renewed sense of happiness. I want to participate in life again. I want to be a good wife and do all the things I was incapable of doing just a few short weeks ago. But the time has come to either go back or quit.....the answer is obvious I must quit but I am terrified. This will devastate us finacially. I feel so guilty for doing this but I know that my marriage couldn't have handle much more of that job. This is requiring a huge leap of faith and just wish I knew how it was going to play out. Next week I will quit my job and I will begin the search for something new in a new field. I want a fresh start. I just hope and pray for the strength that this is going to take. I guess I started this as a way to vent my fears and frustrations. We will see if I actually keep up with this along my new journey.