1st day of my life...

the past four and a half years have come to an end. eating, sleeping, breathing what is and what was co-dependence will no longer plaque me. i left what was 'our home' to begin this new chapter of being...

on the 27th day in the first month of this new year of 2008, i sit here contemplating who i am? i have only known myself through others. i don't recall what it is like to live my life for just myself. subconsciously i have always existed to complement other peoples lives. it is what i now know is one of the most unhealthy lifestyles one can endure. you dedicate your heart in order for others to be ok and you concentrate solely on what it is you must do in order to make their lives more promising that you don't realize your own shortcomings. all the passion, time, and faith you have spent on them could have been used on yourself. and in not utilizing that i am left here to experience what it means to exist independently. the simplest decisions used to feel like these mathematical equations that could never be answered, but now that i am left here to stand on my own two feet- these answers come with ease and simplicity, without critique from others, without the anxiety of making the wrong decision... it is with certainty that no decision is the wrong decision. all my decisions will be the right decisions and in doing so, i will be left without regrets creating my place in this world. and with that i breathe a sigh of relief knowing i will be ok.