Could the week get worse?

I have had a terrible week that with every breath appears to be getting worse. I've had 2 clients get nasty with me. I hate my job and I feel like I am getting the run around from people I once had faith in. I'm angry for reasons I don't understand and don't have a damned person to talk to about it. I just want to cry.

I had it in my head that I was going to think positively and move forward and clean out the 'perverbial closet'. Well, I have tried and I'm getting mixed signals and not sure what to do at this point. I was going to go to dinner with one of my friends for what I had hoped would be a chance for us to talk. But she invited someone else without asking me and it doesn't look like this will transpire. For reasons I don't know, that just sent me reeling.

I feel like she's invited this person just so that she won't have to really deal with me but to do the obligatory thing to barely keep the friendship going. I see what is going on and am not happy about it and no, I don't want to 'play nice' and act like it's not going on any more. I don't think I'm even going to go now. It just unravels me to my core. I'm tired of being the 'convenient' friend.

My life even gets on my own nerves right now. I just don't know what to do about it. I don't see the therapist until next Thursday. Since there's not many I'd trust their intentions, I don't know if I can hold out until then. I'm journaling like crazy in hopes that this will help and it's not. I don't want to be in this place. But I am....

I am not really motivated to work at all but have a lot to do so I will work for now to get through the day. Guess I'll go. Sit back and see what else bad can happen....