My Life

Exciting News?

2011-01-09T17:20:00.000Z

I started a new blog, if anyone ever reads this and would like to keep updated on my strange rants, or if you just want to check it out, maybe you'd like it!

So here's the spot...

http://whosthiskate.blogspot.com

See ya later happy bloggers!

Whhat too dooo.

2010-11-21T18:18:00.000Z

I feel very impassive, but anxious at the same time. Its a strange and unsettling mixture.

Study Study

2010-10-18T21:15:00.000Z

I'm tired of studying :(

(no subject)

2010-09-07T20:29:00.000Z

It may sound horribly bad, but sometimes I cannot stand my grandma. Seriously, she is the worst person out there. So degrading, thinks she is better than everyone else, and won't stay out of other people's lives. I can understand the last bit, I loove to know everyones business (not as much as I once did, but I still love a little gossip). But she thinks she should know everything thats going on in everyone's life, because she will steer them right and tell them what to do. If, however, you ask her why she is getting into everyone's business she denies it, saying, "Oh I don't care what they do, tey can do whatever they like." If someone doesn't do what she suggested she always pipes up with a "I told you so!"

I also thinks she is trying to parent my brother and sister, mostly my brother, but then she only wants to be a parent when its convenient for her.

I don't even want to start thinking of all the things I dislike about her because I'm pretty sure it would put me in a terrible mood. I can just hear her cackly voice in the kithcen trying to run everyone else lives and had to say something.

In other news, school starts this week, I start Thursday actually. I got a new bag for it too! I had only huge bags from the last 2 years bringing all my lab junk but no more labs for me! Thank God. I can't believe I almost majored in chem, what a waste that would have been. So now I have a nice little grey Nixon tote/purse type bag. It fits my notebook, laptop, and pencil case perfectly. And grey goes with practically everything.

Well I'm off to pick up Michael from work. This should be interesting..

:)

2010-08-19T05:42:00.000Z

Of course my first instinct of Michael was that he was a good boy.. but I am going to trust that one still!

Memories

2010-08-19T05:24:00.000Z

It may sound messed up or it may make total sense really, but I don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't think about him. 2 years later and I still think about it all the time. I don't always think about that day but I usually think about why that happened. I feel so stupid for believing him, everything he told me, everything he said. I believed everything. I hate that I put myself there, I had no idea that his family hated me so much, I really didn't. I feel so dumb about it all. I know its not my fault, how could I have know, but looking back I can't stand it. All I really want to know is why and how. Why he would do that, why lie, why say all those hurtful things, why do what he did. And how? How could someone do that, to someone they said they cared for? Its obvious that he didn't really care, but how can you put on such an act? For so long too. I just don't believe it some days. I can't believe it. Somedays I don't think I'm really over it all. I don't think I can admit that though, not yet anyway. I'd feel stupid to say it out loud that I wasn't over it. But its hard to go from one day thinking one thing of someone to the next day seeing them as a total different person. I can't imagine it being possible, but it is. I saw it. I felt it.

I do still feel scared sometimes. If someone could say and do those terrible things in one day, what would years of build up lead to? What minor thing could trigger someone who may be holding in anger like that? What would they be capable of if they were triggered? I don't feel it as much, but I still feel it sometimes.

Michael doesn't know I feel this way. No one does. I have no idea what he would say if he found out, if I told him. I think he'd be surprised, maybe for a bit anyway, then maybe upset that I hadn't told anyone earlier. Ultimately I think he would be glad I finally did tell someone though. He only ever wants the best for me and he's very genuine. You really can tell that he's a good person, not just someone who acts like a good person, but who truly is. If he is just acting though he's a very good actor. I doubt that though.

I feel like I can't say I have a good judge of character. I guess I don't really. So what do I do now? Trust my instinct or go against it? So far my instinct has been pretty bad in life, especially concerning men. It goes the same way for women actually, only opposite. I generally get bad vibes from girls who end up being the nicest of them all. Maybe I'll keep listening to my instinct, but follow in the other direction.

Friends

2010-06-03T18:03:00.000Z

No message from A yet. I don't think she will send me one. I think its ridiculous that she won't even give me the decency to send me a message and say that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I sent her a message saying that I wanted to hang out, if she was interested, and apologizing for not talking enough. I don't really understand why she wouldn't want to be polite and either say "Yes, I would like to get together and talk" or "No, I think we had our time but its passed, I don't want to be your friend anymore."

Anna did send her a message asking her to come to ladies night, the ladies night that her and I are planning, apparently. We'll see if she responds to that though, she took Anna off her friends list once before, when Anna asked her she didn't know how it happened and denied doing it. Obviously it didn't just happen on its own though. So she added her as a friend again, and once again she took her off the friends list.

She also told Katie that I hadn't talked to her at all since she got back and that I hardly even talked to her while she was gone and thinks that I don't want to be her friend anymore. I think she's just using that as an excuse, an excuse to justify not being my friend.

Harry Potter

2010-05-31T16:57:00.000Z

Had such a weird dream last night. It started out where I was working in this place (a home) for kids with problems. Some had behavioral problems, some had disabilities, some had magic problems, just everything. One day some of the kids ran out of the yard & we had to go get them, I started talking to the neighbor when one of the kids ran into her yard & she was asking about the place and she said she would love to have one of the kids stay with her for a weekend (apparently we did that there). So I got her to call later to tell me which kid she wanted to stay with her. While talking on the phone she was taking a really long time, so I had to hang up on her because I had other stuff to do. We had to take the kids down to some mall or something, while we were there I had to make a quick get away because I was on the run from someone. I called whoever this girl was who would always protect me & she came to pick me up in a car. When I went out there was her & 3 guys in the 4-seat car, so I had to sit awkwardly in the middle of the front, sort of on one guys lap. Before I got in though, she told me that they were 3 vampires who hadn't eaten in 30 years, I was like, "Wait, hold up, why would I get into the car with 3 hungry vamps who are ready to kill me?" She said, "Katlyn, no matter how much you deny it, you know that you're one of us." Apparently I was a vampire. So, I got in and we drove up this windy hill, leading to the house I worked in. I couldn't figure out why we went there but the girl said it was the best choice because my scent was already there, anywhere new we went would get my smell too, so we would go into the neighbors house & hide out there until things died down.

So I went and stayed at the neighbors house. It was fine at first, I saw this other person searching my old house but they never thought to come to the neighbors house. I was living peacefully in the neighbors house until one day (this was actually only maybe 2 days after the initial chase) when my friend (the girl from before) told me I had to take cover, the other person had found me. So I said we should take off but she said there was no time, I had to go down to the basement. I followed her into the basement bathroom where there was a clawfoot tub with a dark brown shower curtain covering the entire tub. I had to climb into the tub & close the curtain & hope I wasn't found. As I was getting in the tub I could see some of the kids I worked with hiding behind the laundry basket. The person (a girl) who I was running from came in. She was wearing something a queen would wear & I looked down & noticed I was wearing the same thing. She opened the curtains & found me. She dragged me out and was standing above me, almost ready to kill me. She wanted my throne (I guess I was a queen of some weird magical world) and then everything stopped. I stood up and was like that was a horrible ending! And there was a camera crew and everything, they said that it was going to be continued in the next Harry Potter movie. I was like, "What!? This could not have been Harry Potter, there was no Dumbledore, no Snape, no Hermione, no Ron, there wasn't even Harry!!" They said they decided to try a new spin on things, I was so mad, then the other queen girl was like, "Yeah well in the next one I will get to cut off your head, or maybe we should try that right now!" And she tried to slit my throat but I fought back, and got away. I grabbed my lipgloss and phones (yeah I had 2 cells phones, they were sweet ones too!) on the way out and my friend and I were driving away. I wanted to text Michael and tell him how horrible the Harry Potter movie was, but my friend turned to me and said, "This wasn't a movie, this is your life now." I was like "No, if this isn't a movie, it must be a dream" I tried to wake myself up, but couldn't I started freaking out, wondering why I wouldn't wake up. Then I started saying that I must have slipped into a coma or something, I was talking to my friend about how scared I was to have this new scary dream-life. Then all the sudden I snapped awake (in real life).

I was so relieved to be awake. It was such a weird dream, even though it was so crazy it seemed so real. The worst part was when I was trying to wake up, usually if I'm having a bad dream if it gets bad enough I can wake myself up, I don't really know how it happens, but I just say in the dream, "I have to wake up!" Then usually I shoot up in bed & think about how scary or weird that was. But last night, I was saying it was a dream and wanted to wake up but it wouldn't work. I was like, "No this is a dream, why won't I wake up though? I can't wake up!" I really thought I slipped into a coma or something happened that wouldn't allow me to wake up. I thought I would have to live in my dream world for a while trying to wake up. I hope that doesn't happen again, I felt trapped in my own head, it wasn't the best feeling. I wonder if that is what coma patients feel sometimes.

Messages, Lists, & Complaints

2010-05-29T16:20:00.000Z

Sent the message. Only took me a couple weeks to finally do it. Well it only took a week after I thought of what to say, but it took a couple weeks to actually decide whether I really wanted to or not. I obviously decided I did. I always knew I did. I'm curious to see what the response will be.

I haven't been doing much lately, other than work & reading. I read the second book in some series I started last summer in 3 days, now I'm on the third, and final, book, and almost have it done. I started it yesterday... They're easy reads though. I have been pretty bored these last couple of days. I'm going to try to get out on Monday and look for some more work, I might as well be bored at a job making some money. I should actually make a list of things I should get done. Lets see...

Start on my sister's birthday gift

Look for jobs

Dye my hair

Start working out (Hip hop abs style!)

I really need to sign up for my course, otherwise I won't be able to get it done in time. I also have to get that sheet signed first, before I do anything, because it would suck to sign up for the course, pay for everything, start it, then find out the school won't transfer the credits. That would suck. So first I must get the Letter of Request form signed by the school.

I should also maybe look for some other book to read after I'm done this one. And I want to start getting my nails done again but I'm not sure if I have enough money yet. We'll see. I have to keep saving for Hawaii, and Edmonton this summer. And everything else. Why does everything have to e so expensive?

Maybe I should go to hip hop abs, whether my ankle likes it or not. (I hurt my ankle at soccer almost 2 weeks ago, it seems like it healing at a snails pace, I haven't done anything physically active since that game, other than walking, which isn't enough.)

(no subject)

2010-05-21T05:02:00.000Z

Btw, F&P is a no-go.

Lost Friends...

2010-05-21T04:48:00.000Z

Its 1:48 in the morning. Michael's asleep, I'm up crying softly to my computer. I really hope I didn't loose you as a friend. I never thought this would happen. We were always so close. Why don't we talk anymore? Is it both of us or just me? Have you really changed or am I just trying to justify things? Maybe its nothing, a misunderstanding. Hopefully. Maybe one day we'll go back to normal. Hopefully.

Why do we let someone so important to us slip away? Most wouldn't dare let a husband or wife, their girlfriend or boyfriend, or their child drift away. But why then can we so easily let our friends slide right past. We love them too, maybe in a different way, but isn't all love the same in the end? I never surrounded myself with a huge group of friends that I didn't know every detail about. I had a solid group, many who I had never seen the inside of their house, but I always stayed close to just a few, never letting them leave my slide. That was high school though. Being out in the real world, where every one of your friends takes a different direction is so much more difficult. You don't see them every day in the halls, so you forget to call them, they forget to call you, you loose track of time, and suddenly you haven't seen them in a year or 2. Isn't it strange how someone we swore we would die for, who we would hug after staying up the whole night together talking, who would always see the next day, let them slip, forget about them? Maybe we need to be more careful, we need friends, & can't let them all slip away.

Wise words at 2 am.. I guess.

(no subject)

2010-04-18T23:13:00.000Z

I do not like getting the flu, or anything remotely close to the flu. I haven't been feeling well since Thursday, well I feel okay today. I've been going wheat-free for almost 2 weeks now & so on Thursday Mike, Anna, and I decided to get $2 hot dogs and I ate one. And then I felt horrible! But now I don't know if its because I have a wheat sensitivity or because I came down with some flu-bug-thing. So now I'm still eating no wheat and trying this again. I think even if its nothing that I'll try to cut back anyway, I guess I ate a lot of carbs before, I feel better without them though, less weighed down.

It was Dane & Adam's birthday party last night, everyone went to Thomas' cabin, Anna & I almost got lost on our way up & theres so cell service once your up far enough so we had to wait for Mike to catch up. I think we were driving up some sketchy forestry road right after talking about scary movies, like the Exorcist, and we were pretty freaked. Looking back its funny but at the time, not so much. I didn't drink anything since I wasn't feeling too great, but it was not bad, not as crazy as Dane hyped it up to be but it was fun, good way to relax after doing my stupid ochem exam that morning.

I'll C U Next Tuesday...

2010-04-14T17:26:00.000Z

I hate ants!! I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!! So many ants coming in the house now that its warm out!! Its making me extremely irritated and I feel like I am just letting every little thing bother me because I am so annoyed with these damn ants! I also found a spider in my bedroom today, but I'm sure thats unrelated.

On a happier note, we won our game last night, 6-0. The other team was playing short for half the game & we had a full team, but I think we still could have won anyway. They were craaazy! I don't mean crazy good, I just mean crazy. Their captain kept asking us if we wanted some jagerbombs, they had a camelpak of jager & we were free to join them anytime. I was standing beside her at one point and she stunk of booze! No joke. Oh and they're team name... C U Next Tuesday. Yeah, the CUNTs. Good choice, ladies, very classy.

I have soccer again tonight, only I'm the coach. Never coached a team before, so it should be interesting. Its a girls U10 team. I'm betting I will probably overestimate their abilities. I can't even remember what I was learning back then.

Haven't heard from F&P yet, said they'd call most likely on Monday or Tuesday. Maybe they forgot. I should really be studying. I hate chem though.

I'll C U Next Tuesday...

2010-04-14T17:26:00.000Z

Haven't heard from F&P yet, said they'd call most likely on Monday or Tuesday. Maybe they forgot. I should really be studying. I hate chem though.

My Brother's Visa

2010-04-14T01:26:00.000Z

Weoow! Just got my brand new shiny Visa!! Very exciting. I would post a picture of it but, ya know, that would be incredibly stupid of me.

Btw, I watched the movie Brothers last night, it was super intense. I could hardly even stand it, I actually wanted to just burst into tears for no reason. I mean sure, it was sad, but I was really sad because what that guy went through when he was in Afghanistan & how hard it really hit him. I am SO thankful I'm not in the army & so thankful Mike isn't either. I can't even imagine what it would be like if he had to go and do something like that. Just terrible. Toby Maguire was pretty friggin' scary in it. He really needed help, for good reason obviously.