veronica's Journal

In the moring i am going to wake up and become a better person and make sure i do the right things like

1. clean room

2. eat breakfast

3. jog for 30 min

4. do homework

5. find a job

this are things that i want to do i am going to change my eating habbits because i want to have a baby and i really want on so bad. 

Today i have straighten my act I have done everything to go back to UTPA and i really want to attend so i am going to be going to go to both schools all i need to do on monday is to sign up to see my advisors and then i am going to go change one of my class for math and i have been doing all my homework and i am really trying this time... I have loved the way i have changed all i need to change now is my eating habits i have been more responsible and cleaning so i know i can do this journey and i hope that i can just to it and be a good person.

yesterday i woke up and watch t.v and got on the computer adnd that's all i did. I wish i could have done more but i didn't and i don't know why am i so lazy with everything. I need to start making better choice in my life and i need to start doing my homework because if i don't then i won't make good decisions and i will never get out of college if i don't start straighting up

My Goal for this weeks

1. wake up

2. clean the room

3. check if i have homework

4. start doing homework

5. and when done with everything can watch t.v

Today i felt like a failure, I have so much depression in me and i feel like i don't belong here in this world and that i don't want to be in this world. I can't finish school, can't keep a job, having trouble paying bills, and my bf who doesn't really want to be with me even though he says he does but i know he does not is painful. My whole life i have put everyone first before me and i have given everyone what i could but i feel like if nobody wants to be with and cares about me. I have been in so much depression since i was small i feel like my mom never really like cared about me and i was quiet and shy until i got tired and now i get upset easily and i don't like the way i become i hate my self because everyone in life had made fun of me like my sister,bf and it hurts so much. I try to lose weight but its so hard. My education is a failure i started off so good but i keep faling and i know i can do it but i just don't do it every semester. I feel like a failure i need help with guidence......