Tue, 16 Nov 2010
11:38 PM - Teenage Years :/
My entire life, i've always been the one with the most potential. the one who was going to be presidesnt, or a millionare. The guy with a smile on his face, and his eyes on the stars.
But i dont wanna be that guy anymore. i dont want all the money in the world. i dont want to be the most famous person alive. I dont want what i have now. I want my best friend as my girlfriend, a job that makes me happy, and a life where i dont have to rewash the dishes in the cabinet because my sibilings dont know how to wash them properly.
the girl i love lives 360 miles away, i dont have a father, my mother is menopasual, im the oldest one in my house of the 6 non-adults, a step cant be taken without setpping on garbage, and a spoon can never be found inside the kitchen. Ive never lived in the same housr for more than 2 years, and utilities are constantly being turned off. but im expected to smile and keep up a good example?
Even now i see littered dishes from where people were too lazy to take them to the kitehen one room away that ill have to move in a monent. Cockroaches crawl on the walls and inside the appliances. cigarette packs and candy wrappers are just laying on the desk from a previous user. the air is cold because the gas is currently turned off again, that means another cold shower tonight.
I despise it here. where a dollar is stolen from your own room if you leave it unattended. Where food is aplenty untill around the 15th and it becomes rice and beans everyday untill the foodstamps come in again. I hate how I am the one who is supposed to know everything, and im so confused myself. i wont find happiness here. maybe temporary contentment, but never happiness.
in one months time, ill be leaving for jobcorps, and will be gone for two years. even if i finish early, then its only 6 months till my 18th birthdat from now. I will be on my own, and Independant.