Barby's Journal

like Gil Scott Heron says "Home is where the hatred is, and i never ever want to go back home"

absinthe, distilled in a mix drink of sugared water.

Here is the poem::
Iâ??m a waste of your time. Why are you doing this? You donâ??t know me. Youâ??re drunk right now. Youâ??re crazy. Weâ??re the complete oppositeâ?¦ I donâ??t feel anything about anything. Iâ??m going to marry someone someday and thereâ??s things theyâ??ll never know about me. Why are you doing this? Letâ??s just go dance with everyone else, letâ??s just go danceâ?¦ You should wear dresses more often, you know why.

Of course weâ??re still friends. You shouldnâ??t feel anything about anything. Iâ??ll miss you tooâ?¦ donâ??t feel like an idiot. Itâ??s ok.

Today I look across the bridge and see the gap
You and me at opposite ends of the road
Youâ??re headed toward a storm and Iâ??m headed toward a rainbow.
I come from the other side of the tracks
Where feelings are explosions
That tick tock like clocks and detonate when probed
Censorship of the self is like a sin
You see where Iâ??m from non-expression of feelings is crucifixion
Slow suicide in the middle of the night in a dark place where no one can find you.

Today you walk across the bridge without bothering to look back
Staring into something no one can even point their finger on
Not even you.
Across I become blurry and it doesnâ??t seem to bother you
You canâ??t hear me singing your favorite songs in my most obnoxious voice
Singing to you like thereâ??s no tomorrow
Making up lyrics as I go along
Lyrics about you and me
In hopes that perhaps youâ??ll turn around and say anythingâ?¦.
In hopes that youâ??ll believe me someday, but someday soon.
But you keep heading somewhere else in a straight line like nothing really matters, not even mending your broken spirit.

So off we travel through the freeways of life
Tied to each other as we are apart, like arteries and veins
Only because the thing that connects us is that we share the earth we step on and the oxygen we breathe.
Everything else is irrelevant.
The only thoughts in my head exist as flying keys willing to unlock all the doors and today I learned not everyone is willing to do the same.
Some people lock themselves up and throw away the key,
Leading directionless lives for no reason at all, never wondering why.

Today I gather the strength to try to understand
Today I crave emotional apathy more than food.
I crave a cave where I too can bottle everything up and never think about anything.
There is no fortress around me.
I wonâ??t accept one from anybody when you work so hard to make sure no one knocks yours down.
I wonâ??t censor myself because everything around me is real, to be listened to, touched, explored, enjoyed, kissed and even hurt by.

Today I believe the words someone once saidâ?¦ sometimes youâ??ve just got to let it go, donâ??t feel anything about it justâ?¦. letâ?¦.. itâ?¦. goâ?¦â?¦

You fucked upâ?¦.. No oneâ??s ever beat me at thisâ?¦..you win.

what?

i said you win

huh?

no oneâ??s ever beat me at thisâ?¦ you win.

sorry i couldnâ??t quite catch thatâ?¦. I couldnâ??t quite catch you

â??exasperated breathâ??
you win!

10641 North San Fernando Road
Pacioma

818 869

EL refran de Frances Zenon es "Calabasa, Calabasa, cada quien para su casa"

Eso es tan lindo y desagradable a la ves.

Camilo Guevera
Aleida Guevara
Tuvo seis en total el Che

Remember Barby .. SInuhe..
make sure you name your son Sinuhé el egipcio
http://apphantarch.blogspot.com/

Gael Garcia

Leonardo DiCarpio
Keannu Reeves
Jude Law
Johnny Depp

Leonardo DiCarpio
Keannu Reeves
Jude Law
Johnny Depp

Use ICVP homepage in introduction of oral presentation on 7/21 in UIUC.

If ICVP page does not work due to tech difficulties or lac k of internet access then use: Silent-Witness avi. clip (Pause at = Illinois) in one hidden button on a slide and next to it have a hidden hyperlink button with the google video.

End the oral presentation with the "Walk in her shoes, IL 4.08" avi. clip and also include another hidden button hyperlinked to the youtube video right next to it.

SSARC REMINDER
*** GET DR. C'S EDUCATIONAL PILLARS ON THE UCI SSARC WEBPAGE***

*** MEET UP WITH MITCH***

Today 7/6/08 we discused the following:
***Ben (Ph.D. graduate from UIUC now practicing in Orange County)
*** Edwards Lifescience they have Mitch here and there (i.e. San Fran)
***Mitch got an A in Novacco's class, he advised to meet him and take a course
*** We will catch up and this time not on the Watson bridge

julia de burgos

Love is the beginning of a life without feeling,
Loving is living in love,
It is just living and learning to breath fresh dew w/ insight,
Caring for all and even though noone to care for.

A lonely world for those that woe over false-joy and lament their lament their Father for bringeth them forth

I chuckle for life
is quite the buckle

When you are in the driver's seat

Alas! I have waited for this moment

The passenger in the back seat, that is who I'am

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being in higher education is a priviliedge for many or so I heard today from my SROP program coordinator. ... the problem I have with this is that is shouldn't have to be..

exclave â?¢ EKS-kleiv â?¢ noun
: a portion of a country separated from the main part and constituting an enclave in respect to the surrounding territory
Example Sentence:
Technically, the state of Alaska is an exclave of the United States: it borders only Canadian territory.
Did you know?
You probably won't be surprised to learn that the key to "exclave" is found in "enclave." "Enclave" itself ultimately derives from the Latin word for "key," which is "clavis." It was adopted in the mid-19th century from Middle French "enclaver" ("to enclose"), which in turn derives (through Vulgar Latin) from "in-" and "clavis." "Exclave" was formed about twenty years later by combining the prefix "ex-" and the "-clave" of "enclave." Other "clavis" descendants in English include "autoclave," "clavicle," "conclave," and "clavichord" ("an early keyboard instrument in use before the piano").

Mollay and Rhoda taught me that mugre is really excema, in which one's body has small dark-colored patches that spread and itch. Excema is a skin disease and typ. a dermatologist would recommend using and applying small doses of a steriod cream (like cortisol) called "topicort".

En PR:
-Pastel: flour de platano y tiene carne
-Bizcocho es pastel
-Alcapurias:
-Bacalaito: harina y bacalao adentro
-Amarillo: platano maduro y Platano al verde
-Mang-O: acento en la O
-Kenepas:

En CA:
-Empanadas
-Pastelitos: El Salvador
-Pupusas:
-Pastel: is cake
-Platanos

Amor de lejos, felices los cautros

I'm here
I'm there
I'm everywhere
I'm nowhere

It feels like pain
They say I have much to gain
I know how-to and why-to be here
But what I don't know makes me fear

I fear God
I fear the lost,
I dread the cost
I fear ME
I fear this place in ME
I fear what is to become of ME here

Here...
Here is here in the now
Here is past, present and uncertain future
Here is a distant place from where I began
Here is here and there
Here is everwhere and yet nowhere
Here is a place that I cannot explain because here has not exposed itself without barriers and walls as the size of the Great Wall in China
A wall that segregates, parts, and traps human intellectuals alike in a one-sided feud
A sign that states "Do not tresspass"
Another neon sign that advertises "We are open and welcome of newcomers"

Fancy names for policy
Equal Opportunity they say
i say, "Equal to who?"
Equal to whose standards?

.... to be continued in "Barby Here, the Academic World" (Part II)